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Programmer jokes

This is a discussion on Programmer jokes within the General Discussions forums, part of the Community Boards category; I thought some of these were entertaining and wanted to share. What is your best programmer joke? My favorite being...

  1. #1
    Registered User camel-man's Avatar
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    Programmer jokes

    I thought some of these were entertaining and wanted to share.

    What is your best programmer joke?

    My favorite being

    Name:  random_number.png
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Size:  7.3 KB
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    That is a comic from XKCD ... whoever posted it did not give credit. Curse them.

    Secret: I've had a programming/engineering comic in the works for a while (nothing public yet). Here's a bit of nonsense from my archives (not sharing my 'A' material yet):

    Code:
    /*  spaghetti code */
    int boilingPot(int pasta, int sauce, int garlic)
    {
        return (pasta + sauce + garlic);
    }
    stahta01 and MutantJohn like this.

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    A programmer has a problem. The programmer says "I know, I'll use threads." The programmer now has many problems.
    Yarin, Salem, stahta01 and 1 others like this.
    Code:
    namespace life
    {
        const bool change = true;
    }

  4. #4
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    A programmer has a problem. The programmer says "I know, I'll use threads." The programmer now has many problems.
    O_o

    A variation on Jamie Zawinski if you are curious.

    Soma
    “Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.” -- Fred Rogers
    “Salem Was Wrong!” -- Pedant Necromancer

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    Computer programming is like sex: every mistake, and every success, needs lifetime support.

    And ...

    A million monkeys on a million keyboards will eventually write a Java program. The rest write Perl.
    Right 98% of the time, and don't care about the other 3%.

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    2B || !2B

    Not exactly a joke, but interesting that it doesn't show up in a search.
    I first saw it back in the 80's.

    -

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by megafiddle View Post
    2B || !2B

    Not exactly a joke, but interesting that it doesn't show up in a search.
    Doesn't compute either.
    Elkvis likes this.
    Right 98% of the time, and don't care about the other 3%.

  8. #8
    Unregistered User Yarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matticus View Post
    That is a comic from XKCD ... whoever posted it did not give credit. Curse them.
    Please, do you curse a musician for failing to credit Beethoven for the Moonlight Sonata? Everyone here knows xkcd when they see it, no crediting is necessary.
    A class that doesn't overload all operators just isn't finished yet. -- SmugCeePlusPlusWeenie
    A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. -- Alan J. Perlis

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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpy View Post
    Doesn't compute either.
    there's probably some language out there that allows identifiers that start with a digit or literal hex values without a 0x or &H prefix.
    Code:
    namespace life
    {
        const bool change = true;
    }

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yarin View Post
    Please, do you curse a musician for failing to credit Beethoven for the Moonlight Sonata? Everyone here knows xkcd when they see it, no crediting is necessary.
    False comparison. We're talking about an easily copied image on the internet, not a musical performance of staggering beauty.

    And I'm sure the vast majority of public performances of Moonlight Sonata are indeed credited.

    Regardless, Moonlight Sonata is a very well known piece in our culture, whereas the work of xkcd is not (relatively speaking).

    Everyone here knows xkcd when they see it, no crediting is necessary.
    Unfounded assumption. Maybe not everybody here knows xkcd. Or quite possibly non-members might stumble onto this thread and not know the source. The posting of the image implies a respect for the work of the author, so why not fully respect them and give them credit?

    Besides, if everybody thought that way, I never would have known about xkcd myself.

  11. #11
    Unregistered User Yarin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by megafiddle View Post
    2B || !2B

    Not exactly a joke, but interesting that it doesn't show up in a search.
    I first saw it back in the 80's.

    -
    Hope this makes it a little more clear:
    Quote Originally Posted by Hamlet
    0x2B | ~0x2B = 0xFF
    A class that doesn't overload all operators just isn't finished yet. -- SmugCeePlusPlusWeenie
    A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God. -- Alan J. Perlis

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    Epy likes this.
    Code:
    namespace life
    {
        const bool change = true;
    }

  13. #13
    Registered User Hodor's Avatar
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    There are 25 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hodor View Post
    There are 25 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't
    I've always seen this one written as "there are 10 types of people in this world..." yours doesn't really make any sense relative to the joke, because 25 is 0x19 hex, 031 octal, and 11001 binary.

    on the other hand, there are actually two types of people: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
    Code:
    namespace life
    {
        const bool change = true;
    }

  15. #15
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    O_o

    There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who celebrate oct 31

    Soma
    “Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.” -- Fred Rogers
    “Salem Was Wrong!” -- Pedant Necromancer

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