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Programmer jokes

This is a discussion on Programmer jokes within the General Discussions forums, part of the Community Boards category; There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand hexadecimal, and F the rest....

  1. #16
    Registered User whiteflags's Avatar
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    There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand hexadecimal, and F the rest.
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  2. #17
    Registered User Hodor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elkvis View Post
    I've always seen this one written as "there are 10 types of people in this world..." yours doesn't really make any sense relative to the joke, because 25 is 0x19 hex, 031 octal, and 11001 binary.

    on the other hand, there are actually two types of people: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
    Well, to be fair, did I give the impression that it was supposed to make sense? Nevermind. Change my statement to "there are 2 types of people in this world: those that understand Hodor's incredibly insane sense of humour, and those that don't." Rest assured that most people fall into the latter group of people and sometimes, on rare occassions, even Hodor falls into the second group (as paradoxical as that may sound)
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  3. #18
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    as paradoxical as that may sound
    O_o

    I've made jokes founded on such obscure references my subconscious supplied "That was stupid; no one is going to get that; you don't even know where you got that.".

    Soma
    “Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.” -- Fred Rogers
    “Salem Was Wrong!” -- Pedant Necromancer

  4. #19
    (?<!re)tired Mario F.'s Avatar
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    As we said in the preface to the first edition, C "wears well as one's experience with it grows." With a decade more experience, we still feel that way.
    -- Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan
    The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


    Originally Posted by brewbuck:
    Reimplementing a large system in another language to get a 25% performance boost is nonsense. It would be cheaper to just get a computer which is 25% faster.

  5. #20
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    O_o

    Now that is just mean spirited...

    yet I still giggled.

    Soma
    “Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.” -- Fred Rogers
    “Salem Was Wrong!” -- Pedant Necromancer

  6. #21
    and the hat of wrongness Salem's Avatar
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    Programmers think xmas and halloween are the same.
    After all, dec 25 == oct 31
    If you dance barefoot on the broken glass of undefined behaviour, you've got to expect the occasional cut.
    If at first you don't succeed, try writing your phone number on the exam paper.
    I support http://www.ukip.org/ as the first necessary step to a free Europe.

  7. #22
    Registered User Hodor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salem View Post
    Programmers think xmas and halloween are the same.
    After all, dec 25 == oct 31
    That is...

    I dunno. You're not my friend anymore.

  8. #23
    Registered User manasij7479's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hodor View Post
    That is...

    I dunno. You're not my friend anymore.
    Makes sense, you do not want him to access your privates !

    "anymore"..suspicious.
    Manasij Mukherjee | gcc-4.8.2 @Arch Linux
    Slow and Steady wins the race... if and only if :
    1.None of the other participants are fast and steady.
    2.The fast and unsteady suddenly falls asleep while running !



  9. #24
    Registered User Hodor's Avatar
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    Gotta admit that I'm a bit dismayed by the lack of dongle and finger jokes. Not to mention root access.

  10. #25
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    Sorry, Hodor, but my sun crashed
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    Right 98% of the time, and don't care about the other 3%.

  11. #26
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    Gotta admit that I'm a bit dismayed by the lack of dongle and finger jokes.
    O_o

    A Dongle Joke That Spiraled Way Out Of Control | TechCrunch

    Soma
    Elkvis likes this.
    “Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.” -- Fred Rogers
    “Salem Was Wrong!” -- Pedant Necromancer

  12. #27
    (?<!re)tired Mario F.'s Avatar
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    Ah, another victim of sexism; the person who got fired. Some feminist gets offended, someone loses a job.
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    The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


    Originally Posted by brewbuck:
    Reimplementing a large system in another language to get a 25% performance boost is nonsense. It would be cheaper to just get a computer which is 25% faster.

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mario F. View Post
    Ah, another victim of sexism; the person who got fired. Some feminist gets offended, someone loses a job.
    but there was a small amount of justice served, because the woman who chose to be offended also got fired.
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    Code:
    namespace life
    {
        const bool change = true;
    }

  14. #29
    (?<!re)tired Mario F.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phantomotap View Post
    O_o

    Now that is just mean spirited...

    yet I still giggled.
    Our masters are usually the best source of humor. Knuth has two of my all-time favorites:

    - The one where he writes something like "Beware of bugs in the code. I just proved it right, I didn't run it"
    - The one about miss-attribution, in which he wrote something like "Any inaccuracies in this index may be explained by the fact that it has been sorted with the help of a computer".
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    The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


    Originally Posted by brewbuck:
    Reimplementing a large system in another language to get a 25% performance boost is nonsense. It would be cheaper to just get a computer which is 25% faster.

  15. #30
    (?<!re)tired Mario F.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elkvis View Post
    but there was a small amount of justice served, because the woman who chose to be offended also got fired.
    I admit I didn't read to the end, because I just assumed it was just the same story as so many others before it. Glad to see this wasn't the case. And reading the whole thing to the end was rather uplifting. Not so much for the matter of "justice" (like you, I find it hard to to see justice anywhere in this story), but because it ends up pointing fingers at the real culprit; the internet propensity for emotional escalation.
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    The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
    The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.


    Originally Posted by brewbuck:
    Reimplementing a large system in another language to get a 25% performance boost is nonsense. It would be cheaper to just get a computer which is 25% faster.

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