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Programing jokes? huh cliche

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  1. #1
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    Programing jokes? huh cliche

    Why do java programmers wear glasses?

    Becouse they dont C#..

    ps; not my credit.

    Your turn!
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  2. #2
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    C++: where your friends have access to your private members
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    Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
    Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

    (Not mine, but impressively clever.)
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    &TH of undefined behavior Fordy's Avatar
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    There are 10 types of people in this world: those that read binary and those that don't.

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    and the hat of wrongness Salem's Avatar
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    If you dance barefoot on the broken glass of undefined behaviour, you've got to expect the occasional cut.
    If at first you don't succeed, try writing your phone number on the exam paper.
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  6. #6
    Unregistered User Yarin's Avatar
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    My favorite would have to be:

    I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Matticus View Post
    Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
    Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

    (Not mine, but impressively clever.)
    Heh, I didn't get it at first, but that _is_ good. And now I feel _really_ stupid for having to look it up to find out that the secret lies in bases.
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    I still cant understand Matticus joke. Maybe someone can light me, if possible

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    Octal is a base-8 counting system.

    Just as 0xF in hex = 15 in decimal,
    31 in octal = 25 in decimal

    ("OCT" 31 = "DEC" 25)

    If you have a calculator program with "programmer" functions, enter 25 (while it's in decimal), then switch it to Octal. Such fun =)
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    Manasij Mukherjee | gcc-4.8.2 @Arch Linux
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  10. #10
    Master Apprentice phantomotap's Avatar
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    As Yarin references, the "secret" is in bases octal and hexadecimal.

    I heard this from my boss one upon a time: "Why do programmers make better problem solvers? Because I said so. Now get back to work!".

    I thought it was funny. ^_^

    Soma
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    Thanks Matticus, didnt know there is Octal :P

    Nice one Soma.. lol

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    I did come up with a joke that I'm quite proud of, but it's an electrical joke and not a programming joke:

    "My son is like a floating CMOS input ... always causing intermittent problems. So I grounded him!"

    (silence)

    hem.
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    Not jokes as such, more like funny quotes:

    With regard to adding more programmers to get a project done faster - Nine people can't make a baby in a month.

    Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's fantastic. When it's bad, it's still better than nothing.

    What you’ve described, “The bottleneck in writing code isn’t in the writing of the code, it’s in understanding and conceptualising what needs to be done,” is common to all highly abstract programming languages. Writing Haskell, for example, involves an hour of meditation followed by the emission of a fold expression.

    A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance floor by people carrying razors.

    Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

    Debugging is like farting - it's not so bad when it's your own code.

    Test driven development is like eating watermelon. Slice it up and work in sections at a time; eat all the red until all you have left is green.

    Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.

    A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs.

    It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

    If we're supposed to work in Hex, why have we only got A fingers?
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    How I need a drink, alcoholic in nature, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neo1 View Post
    A computer programmer is a device for turning coffee into bugs.
    I know one a bit different.

    The programmer is just a tool, that turns coffe, into code

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    Why is Indian code full of type conversions? Because they're used to a caste system

    Why does Hannibal Lecter like casting? Because it lets him take a byte out of everything

    What's Richard Stallman's favourite movie? Ctrl-Alt-Escape to Victory

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