is this a good thesis?

This is a discussion on is this a good thesis? within the General Discussions forums, part of the Community Boards category; I've been really trying to improve my essay writing and getting feedback. here's the thesis This essay attempts to retrace ...

  1. #1
    Set Apart -- jrahhali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    256

    is this a good thesis?

    I've been really trying to improve my essay writing and getting feedback. here's the thesis

    This essay attempts to retrace the origins of the debt crisis to the actions of the US and OPEC, and the continued accumulation of third world debt thereafter to the SAPs of the IMF.

    is that good? should I not say "this essay" and just say something like "The origins of the debt crisis can be retraced to the actions..." instead?

    My essay is mostly a chronilogical explantion of the events that led up to the Debt Crisis and why third world debt just continues to rise.

    thanks
    Clear the mines from our Shazbot!
    Get the enemy Shazbot!

  2. #2
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    4,913
    should I not say "this essay" and just say something like "The origins of the debt crisis can be retraced to the actions..." instead?
    Yeah - I wouldn't say "this essay". You could certainly start with "The origins of the debt cri....", as long as it flows with the other text around it. Also, I would probably chose to say "trace" instead of "retrace". I'm not sure if I have a concrete reason for thinking that, but I think it sounds more concise. Also make sure that your thesis isn't hard for the reader keep in mind. Personally - I have no idea what SAPs of the IMF are - maybe you're writing to a different audience, and/or you've already explained that thoroughly. But it was just a thought.

    As far as the strength and straightforwardness of your thesis goes, I think it's perfect.

  3. #3
    Dae
    Dae is offline
    Deprecated Dae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    1,034
    Quote Originally Posted by jrahhali View Post
    chronilogical explantion
    Don't forget to spell-check.
    Warning: Have doubt in anything I post.

    GCC 4.5, Boost 1.40, Code::Blocks 8.02, Ubuntu 9.10 010001000110000101100101

  4. #4
    Epy
    Epy is offline
    Fortran lover Epy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    997
    Probably a little late now, but a thesis is supposed to be more of a hypothesis stated as if it were fact, like "The US and OPEC caused the debt crisis through ___."

  5. #5
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Plano, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,738
    Agreed. The whole usage of "This essay attempts to" at the beginning should be taken out.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  6. #6
    Malum in se abachler's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    3,189
    Quote Originally Posted by jrahhali View Post
    I've been really trying to improve my essay writing and getting feedback. here's the thesis

    This essay attempts to retrace the origins of the debt crisis to the actions of the US and OPEC, and the continued accumulation of third world debt thereafter to the SAPs of the IMF.

    is that good? should I not say "this essay" and just say something like "The origins of the debt crisis can be retraced to the actions..." instead?

    My essay is mostly a chronilogical explantion of the events that led up to the Debt Crisis and why third world debt just continues to rise.

    thanks
    So it goes back 35 years?

    In any case, I generally start my reports speaking in the third person, don't reference the essay directly, so something like -

    The origins of the debt crisis can be retraced to the actions..

    would be best. The reader already knows its an essay, so stating 'this essay' is just surplusage.
    Last edited by abachler; 12-12-2009 at 12:33 AM.
    Until you can build a working general purpose reprogrammable computer out of basic components from radio shack, you are not fit to call yourself a programmer in my presence. This is cwhizard, signing off.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3
    I feel like you'll be boxing yourself in with the OPEC reference in your thesis. I don't think they had as much of an impact as China did with the debt expansion in the US.

Popular pages Recent additions subscribe to a feed

Similar Threads

  1. Good books for learning WIN32 API
    By Junior89 in forum Windows Programming
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-05-2006, 05:38 PM
  2. Not so good games
    By the dead tree in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 11-13-2005, 08:48 PM
  3. Good resources for maths and electronics
    By nickname_changed in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 12-22-2004, 04:23 PM
  4. what is good for gaphics in dos
    By datainjector in forum Game Programming
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-15-2002, 04:48 PM
  5. i need links to good windows tuts...
    By Jackmar in forum Windows Programming
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-19-2002, 12:16 AM

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21