Funny

This is a discussion on Funny within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions ...

  1. #1
    Unregistered#2000000
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    Funny

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

    On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

    On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well, duh, a bit late, huh!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought?)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and, I'm taking this because?)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to what?)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh, fly Delta?)

    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one)

    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God! Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

  2. #2
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    > "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

    But what if I want a turkey popsicle?

    The best thing about most of these is that you know there had to be a problem with it, or there wouldn't be warning labels....

    I've heard of a label on a vacuum cleaner saying not to put genitals in the tube...

  3. #3
    Hamster without a wheel iain's Avatar
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    I won a keyring the other day in a pub quiz (wow )
    and on it was engraved

    NOT TO BE USED FOR CLIMBING!


    Monday - what a way to spend a seventh of your life

  4. #4
    A Banana Yoshi's Avatar
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    "Best Before 25-Jan-01".

    Well... can I still eat it?
    Yoshi

  5. #5
    31173 h4x0r gnu-ehacks's Avatar
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    LoL, where'd you find this stuff?
    What will people say if they hear that I'm a Jesus freak?
    What will people do if they find that it's true?
    I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak, there is no disguising the truth!

    Jesus Freak, D.C. Talk

    -gnu-ehacks

  6. #6
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    >> "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

    Actually that one is kind of valid. It really is a serving suggestion by them...not something stupid. I personally never defrost my frozen dinners, I just pop them into the microwave and they are fine...but some people might need to defrost...
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  7. #7
    Registered User dirkduck's Avatar
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    i got this one in an e-mail a while back

  8. #8
    A Banana Yoshi's Avatar
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    "... Microsoft Corporation in the United States and/or other countries."

    Well, you have to be one. Either Microsoft don't have trademarks outside US or inside US or both or they all have trademarks... but which one. This is legal stuff, you cannot have "or"'s.
    Yoshi

  9. #9
    monotonously living Dissata's Avatar
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    yah well Then again you just proved that we aren't doomed by stupidity, cause if we were you would have related to those statements

    funny eh? !
    if a contradiction was contradicted would that contradition contradict the origional crontradiction?

  10. #10
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    I love it when the nutrition info on packages says stuff like "May contain one or more of the following...."

    Way to instill trust and confidence, guys.

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