Is your son a hacker?

This is a discussion on Is your son a hacker? within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I found an old, but funny article on telling if your son is a hacker. It's sad...trust me... They spell ...

  1. #1
    For Narnia! Sentral's Avatar
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    Is your son a hacker?

    I found an old, but funny article on telling if your son is a hacker. It's sad...trust me...

    They spell 'Linux' wrong several times, by writing 'Lunix' which is for the C64. Anyway, enjoy.

    http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001...2056.2147.html

    A short quote, "Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation."

    Also, read the comments, VERY funny....
    Last edited by Sentral; 12-29-2006 at 02:49 PM.
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  2. #2
    The Right Honourable psychopath's Avatar
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    Please, please tell me that article's a joke.
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  3. #3
    Devil's Advocate SlyMaelstrom's Avatar
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    Haha... I didn't know "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly was a hacking manual.

    6. Does your son use Quake?

    Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

    If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.
    Sent from my iPadŽ

  4. #4
    For Narnia! Sentral's Avatar
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    hacking and train in the use of various firearms.
    My favorite quote. Quake, in no way, can be used for firearms training. So ignorant...but it's entertaining, atleast.
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  5. #5
    Registered User Tonto's Avatar
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    I have something better for you to read.

    http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2002...13530.133.html

    >> A short quote, "Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation."

    I also have a short quote from the article I'm referring you guys to.

    ... To work well with computers, you must have the ability to break a task into thousands of tiny steps ordered with exact logic. There are no layers of meaning in source code, everything does what it says it does. Everything must be taken at face value. Unfortunately, this abnormal form of communication becomes a default for geeks. Their long work hours and habit of only associating with other geeks causes them to forget how normal people communicate. The ability to be literal gets reinforced at every turn while the subtleties of everyday language are forgotten.

    ╔╗╔╦══╦╗╔╦══╦╗
    ║╚╝║╔╗║╚╝║╔╗║║
    ║╔╗║╠╣║╔╗║╠╣╠╣
    ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝

    codez http://code.google.com/p/zxcvbn/

  6. #6
    For Narnia! Sentral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonto
    I have something better for you to read.

    http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2002...13530.133.html

    >> A short quote, "Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation."

    I also have a short quote from the article I'm referring you guys to.
    I think that one was a joke article (atleast it says on the bottom). The other one, I'm not sure, but they are both funny

    Another quote, "Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL"

    Another (it's just too funny), "If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well."

    This has to be a joke ( I hope)
    Last edited by Sentral; 12-29-2006 at 06:27 PM.
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  7. #7
    Registered User Tonto's Avatar
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    Did you just scroll through the article, find the flashy lights, skim that, and then quit?

    It's easy to reach the conclusion that the techies who infest the various gaming, hardware and Lunix advocacy sites are sad, humorless geeks who simply don't appreciate satire. Nothing could be further from the truth. Geeks love satire; it's just that they lack the critical faculties to recognize it. Subtlety may be lost on these people, but that doesn't mean you can't have a rewarding experience writing comedic and/or satirical pieces about technical subjects
    I'd really suggest reading the article.

    http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2002...13530.133.html

    ╔╗╔╦══╦╗╔╦══╦╗
    ║╚╝║╔╗║╚╝║╔╗║║
    ║╔╗║╠╣║╔╗║╠╣╠╣
    ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╩╝

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  8. #8
    For Narnia! Sentral's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tonto
    Did you just scroll through the article, find the flashy lights, skim that, and then quit?



    I'd really suggest reading the article.

    http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2002...13530.133.html
    Don't give me attitude, you must be...uh...uh....HACKER! Yes, I did just skim through it, what else would I do? I'm busy DOSing people, and using 'LUNIX', and training with firearms in Quake.
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  9. #9
    Insane Game Developer Nodtveidt's Avatar
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    This site is classic. It was shut down a long time ago but remains online as an archive to human stupidity. Every article on the site is a joke, and it's on purpose.

    If you want a site that contains true-life computer folly, you owe it to yourself to check out Computer Stupidities. The more knowledgeable you are of computers, the more hilarious the stories will be for you.
    Last edited by Nodtveidt; 12-29-2006 at 08:08 PM.
    Code:
    cout << "Language comparisons are dumb";
    echo("Language comparisons are dumb");
    PRINT "Language comparisons are dumb"
    alert ("Language comparisons are dumb")

  10. #10
    The Right Honourable psychopath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nodtveidt
    Every article on the site is a joke
    Well, that makes me feel a little better then. But only a little.
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  11. #11
    Insane Game Developer Nodtveidt's Avatar
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    The scary part is not only in the sheer number of people who believed that the site was legitimate but instead in the sheer number of people who saw it as useful information and applied it to their lives.
    Code:
    cout << "Language comparisons are dumb";
    echo("Language comparisons are dumb");
    PRINT "Language comparisons are dumb"
    alert ("Language comparisons are dumb")

  12. #12
    The Right Honourable psychopath's Avatar
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    Right now, I'm just curious to know what caused the site to be shut down. Does anyone know?
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  13. #13
    C++ Witch laserlight's Avatar
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    It seems to be online for me. Could have been the earthquake resulting in an inadequate Internet connect for the website at the time.
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  14. #14
    Insane Game Developer Nodtveidt's Avatar
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    Well, "shut down" in the sense that it was no longer updated...essentially abandoned. As far as why they stopped doing the site, I don't really know...I guess they got bored of it. The founders were Slashdot trolls for a long time before they started up the site.
    Code:
    cout << "Language comparisons are dumb";
    echo("Language comparisons are dumb");
    PRINT "Language comparisons are dumb"
    alert ("Language comparisons are dumb")

  15. #15
    Cat without Hat CornedBee's Avatar
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    And just in case anyone doubts it's a joke, read the FAQ:
    http://www.adequacy.org/special/faq.html
    All the buzzt!
    CornedBee

    "There is not now, nor has there ever been, nor will there ever be, any programming language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad code."
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