Another reason why I hate life
I am posting this because I thought you all would get a kick out of it. I have to take a class for school called 'dining in.' It's a graduation requirement. Basically, we are taught formal dining. Out of all of the things I've done so far, this is probably going to be the biggest pain in the ass.
It goes like this: we take the class, and then we are invited to the President's house for a 2 hour formal dinner. This is essentially the test part of the class.
We were herded like sheep into a giant auditorium by one of the Navy Lieutenants that happens to be my company commander. We were told to sit down and shut up, and to stand at attention when the President's (of the school) wife entered the room.
We were then given a sheet with a long list of rules and a 2 hour lecture going over it. Here are the rules (note that this was just the back side of the page, the other side had some other general stuff)
Seeing as how there are like no girls that attend my school, they've essentially hired people to be our dates when we go to the President's house.
- Don't talk with food in your mouth
- dont use fingers as a food pusher
- dont use utensils as a shovel
- dont make noises while eating or swallowing
- dont chew with your mouth open
- dont blow on hot liquids to cool them
- dont smack your lips
- dont pile your fork high and take a big mouthful
- dont lick your fingers
- dont rise and reach for something, ask that it be passed
- dont leave the spoon in the cup after stirring. Place it in the saucer to the right of the cup handle, NEVER on the table cloth!
- dont tip a soup plate toward you, when almost empty you may tip it away from you. When a clear soup is served in a cup or bowl with handles you mayh pick it up and drink it, after you have eaten most of it with a spoon
- dont ever leave a spoon in a soup cup or bowl. Put it in the saucer, but always leave the spoon in a soup plate
- dont cut bread with a knife. It should be broken in half with the fingers and then into smaller pieces as eaten. If butter is served butter each piece as it is eaten.
- dont put jam or condiments directly onto the bread. they go onto the butter plate, and then onto the smaller pieces of bread when eaten.
- dont ever place your elbows on the table. Between courses you may place your forearms on the table if you dont turn your back on your partner
- dont slump at the table, but dont sit at attention either
- when cutting your food dont stick your elbows out. It is just as easy to cut up and down and, with your elbows in you wont hit the person next to you
- dont push your plate away from you when you have finished eating. leave it where it was placed and put your unfolded napkin to the right of it. Never in it
- dont rub your lips with your napkin. Pat them
- dont smoke at the table unless ash trays are provided (........)
- never placed used utensils on the tablecloth
- dont put food in your mouth with your arms resting on the table. pick your arm up and bring your food to your mouth
- dont leave the dinner table with your jacket unbuttoned. when seated you may unbotton your jacket but always button when you get up from the table