Programmer Humor

This is a discussion on Programmer Humor within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Friends have access to their friends' privates. I win....

  1. #1
    Software Developer jverkoey's Avatar
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    Programmer Humor

    Friends have access to their friends' privates.

    I win.

  2. #2
    ---
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    haha good one

  3. #3
    Registered User axon's Avatar
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    short and sweet 8/10

    some entropy with that sink? entropysink.com

    there are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. - franz kafka

  4. #4
    Has a Masters in B.S.
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    Code:
    try
    {
    assert("Friends have access to their friends' privates.");
    throw beating;
    }
    catch(jverkoey's teeth)
    {
    take jverkoey to the hospital.
    }
    Last edited by no-one; 05-17-2005 at 09:05 PM.
    ADVISORY: This users posts are rated CP-MA, for Mature Audiences only.

  5. #5
    Software Developer jverkoey's Avatar
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    take isn't a keyword.....

  6. #6
    & the hat of GPL slaying Thantos's Avatar
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    and why would you use assert with try throw catch

  7. #7
    former member Brain Cell's Avatar
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    lol , good one you nerd !!
    My Tutorials :
    - Bad programming practices in : C
    - C\C++ Tips
    (constrcutive criticism is very welcome)


    - Brain Cell

  8. #8
    Has a Masters in B.S.
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    >take isn't a keyword.....
    >and why would you use assert with try throw catch

    Code:
    void process_replies(char** restrict criticism)
    {
       while(*criticism++)
            memset(*criticism,0,strlen(criticism));
    }
    Last edited by no-one; 05-18-2005 at 01:11 AM.
    ADVISORY: This users posts are rated CP-MA, for Mature Audiences only.

  9. #9
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    Not exactly programming, but while using Visio to draw up some UML documents, I noticed you could set a class to IsLeaf, IsRoot, and IsAbstract.
    If I did your homework for you, then you might pass your class without learning how to write a program like this. Then you might graduate and get your degree without learning how to write a program like this. You might become a professional programmer without knowing how to write a program like this. Someday you might work on a project with me without knowing how to write a program like this. Then I would have to do you serious bodily harm. - Jack Klein

  10. #10
    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    Shlemiel the Painter

    Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. "That's pretty good!" says his boss, "you're a fast worker!" and pays him a kopeck.

    The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. "Well, that's not nearly as good as yesterday, but you're still a fast worker. 150 yards is respectable," and pays him a kopeck.

    The next day Shlemiel paints 30 yards of the road. "Only 30!" shouts his boss. "That's unacceptable! On the first day you did ten times that much work! What's going on?"

    "I can't help it," says Shlemiel. "Every day I get farther and farther away from the paint can!"



    The joke is related to programming, because it contrasts linear and quadratic algorithms.
    FAQ

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs." -- Joseph Weizenbaum.

    "If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, you are not ready to code it." -- Richard Pattis.

  11. #11
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    Ha...I read that today from this link, which links to this, which links over here, which finally links to this page.
    If I did your homework for you, then you might pass your class without learning how to write a program like this. Then you might graduate and get your degree without learning how to write a program like this. You might become a professional programmer without knowing how to write a program like this. Someday you might work on a project with me without knowing how to write a program like this. Then I would have to do you serious bodily harm. - Jack Klein

  12. #12
    Marxist-Trotskyist
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    ...I laughed, and then I realized I have no life.
    If a=b, and b=c, then a=c, except where void and prohibited by law...

  13. #13
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    I heard that before in an OOP class I took, all the nerds laughed. I laughed at them
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  14. #14
    Banned nickname_changed's Avatar
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    I was talking to someone today about concatenating C# strings and I called it a Shlemiel the Painter algorithm (I read it on Joel on Software years ago), and I had to explain the story to him. Isn't it amazing how in one day something you never think about can come up twice?

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