Bill Gates and General Motors

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  1. #1
    Registered User xxxrugby's Avatar
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    Bill Gates and General Motors

    Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

    "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

    "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?
    Sorry for spelling errors, not English!
    xxxrugby: "All Human Race Will Die From My Hand!"
    xxxrugby: "We are all philosophers, when question is about politics!"

  2. #2
    Registered User axon's Avatar
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    old and not really funny 3/10

    some entropy with that sink? entropysink.com

    there are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. - franz kafka

  3. #3
    Bob Dole for '08 B0bDole's Avatar
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    it's only half the joke too
    Hmm

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    This is quite interesting:

    Jocks vs Nerds

    Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.


    If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.


    If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.


    If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.


    He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.


    He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.


    If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.


    If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.


    He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.


    Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.


    If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.


    He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.


    While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.


    This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?


    However...
    If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.


    $$$ Game over. Nerd wins.

  5. #5
    Carnivore ('-'v) Hunter2's Avatar
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    >>it's only half the joke too
    What's the other half?
    Just Google It. √

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  6. #6
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hunter2
    >>it's only half the joke too
    What's the other half?
    In B0bDole's pants

    ICE BURN

  7. #7
    Bob Dole for '08 B0bDole's Avatar
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    this is the other half:
    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:


    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.


    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


    4. Traffic jams would be known as lag, and you'd accept them as well.


    5. Occasionally, executing maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart,in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.


    6. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats.


    7. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.


    8. Every now and then, a Cray car would blow past doing about 1000 times your speed - and God help you if you were in the fast lane.


    9. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.


    10. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.


    11. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.


    12. The resale value would drop 75% as soon as you drove out of the showroom and would be $0.00 within two years - trade ins, forget about it!


    13. For service you would have to call a toll free number and select the proper number for the repair you wish to have done. An automated voice would walk you through the step to repair the car yourself and when that didn't work refer you to the company that sold the gas for the car.


    14. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.


    15. Buying a new set of tires would also require one to buy multiple other accessories or the car wouldn't run properly.


    16. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.


    17. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.


    18. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.
    Hmm

  8. #8
    former member Brain Cell's Avatar
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    11. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
    18. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.
    LMAO !!
    My Tutorials :
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  9. #9
    Carnivore ('-'v) Hunter2's Avatar
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    Sounds ugly. Although in response to:
    >>12. The resale value would drop 75% as soon as you drove out of the showroom and would be $0.00 within two years - trade ins, forget about it!
    In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50
    50 bucks for a new car every 2 years sounds pretty nice to me.
    Just Google It. √

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