Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.....
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you
since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "
The Lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said,
"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in
jail for contempt."