Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question....

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  1. #1
    Its not rocket science vasanth's Avatar
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    Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question....

    Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't
    prepared for the answer.....

    In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
    first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly
    woman.

    He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you
    since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
    to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
    about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
    haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
    than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "

    The Lawyer was stunned.

    Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

    "Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"

    She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He
    can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
    one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
    wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know
    him."

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
    quiet voice, said,

    "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in
    jail for contempt."

  2. #2
    ... kermit's Avatar
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    Good one

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    Ha ha ha ha!!!! Having lived down south I know that it's entirely possible that this was taken directly from court records.

  4. #4
    Bob Dole for '08 B0bDole's Avatar
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    9/10
    Hmm

  5. #5
    i dont know Vicious's Avatar
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    9/10

    very nice.
    What is C++?

  6. #6
    Unleashed
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    Oh, that was good. 9/10
    The world is waiting. I must leave you now.

  7. #7
    Registered User
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    That was great

    Thanks.
    www.unlocked-networks.com

  8. #8
    Toaster Zach L.'s Avatar
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    Hahaha! Noce one.
    9.7/10
    The word rap as it applies to music is the result of a peculiar phonological rule which has stripped the word of its initial voiceless velar stop.

  9. #9
    Even death may die... Dante Shamest's Avatar
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    Brought a smile to my face.

    8.5/10

  10. #10
    ___
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    *In melody of Thin Lizzy*

    Good jokes are back in town.

    Good jokes are back in townowowwan.


    10/10

    As a southern boy, this hits home rather deeply.
    "When I die I want to pass peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

  11. #11
    In your face... ha ha ha Liger86's Avatar
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    9/10 now, that is what i call quality joke
    From Ukraine with love!

    Internationally known widely respected

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