What is secs? :)

This is a discussion on What is secs? :) within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him : - Daddy, what's ...

  1. #1
    Normal vector Carlos's Avatar
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    What is secs? :)

    A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him :
    - Daddy, what's Sex?

    "OK" he thinks, this day was bound to come, and I am not going to let my little princess learn about Sex from the streets. So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperms and eggs.

    He tells her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet dreams.

    Then she asks :
    - Daddy what is "a couple" ?

    And he carries on: a couple are the two people involved in the sex, but this can be two males also, where they penetrate from the ass, or two females which we call lesbians, where they use the tongue on the vagina...and goes on to describe masturbation, oral sex, group sex, pornography, bondage and rape, pedophilia, sex toys etc...

    The father finally asks:
    - So why did you want to know about "a couple" and "Sex"?
    - Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..

  2. #2
    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    Funny, but not too funny. 4/10
    FAQ

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs." -- Joseph Weizenbaum.

    "If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, you are not ready to code it." -- Richard Pattis.

  3. #3
    pronounced 'fib' FillYourBrain's Avatar
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    oh, it isn't that bad. 4 of 10 suggests a substantial level of un-funiness.

    6.5 / 10
    "You are stupid! You are stupid! Oh, and don't forget, you are STUPID!" - Dexter

  4. #4
    Normal vector Carlos's Avatar
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    Maybe joshdick is just a little girl...

  5. #5
    pronounced 'fib' FillYourBrain's Avatar
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    I bet he's never had secs


    have you ever noticed that there just aren't enough secs in the day?
    "You are stupid! You are stupid! Oh, and don't forget, you are STUPID!" - Dexter

  6. #6
    Normal vector Carlos's Avatar
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    Originally posted by FillYourBrain
    I bet he's never had secs

    have you ever noticed that there just aren't enough secs in the day?
    Dunno, 3600 secs / hour is far too much for me

  7. #7
    Magically delicious LuckY's Avatar
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    A man is driving down a small road with his little daughter in the car. Up ahead is a car with a man and a woman who are very obviously, even from this distance, in a heated argument. The woman gets so ........ed that she pulls the guys penis out and slices it off and tosses it out the window. The severed penis hits the dad's windshield and he freaks as his daughter asks, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad stumbles over his words trying to come up with an answer. Dad says, "Oh, that? That's... That's a fly, honey." His daughter says, "Wow. That fly has the biggest penis I've ever seen!"

  8. #8
    pronounced 'fib' FillYourBrain's Avatar
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    ha. let's see....

    7/10

    it would have done better except for one factor. It's hard to explain but it seems the little girl's question doesn't fit if she knows what a penis is. Something doesn't sit right there. But 7/10 isn't bad
    "You are stupid! You are stupid! Oh, and don't forget, you are STUPID!" - Dexter

  9. #9
    Magically delicious LuckY's Avatar
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    Hey I won't argue with a 7. I'm going to post a sure 10 in a new thread...

  10. #10
    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    Originally posted by LuckY
    A man is driving down a small road with his little daughter in the car. Up ahead is a car with a man and a woman who are very obviously, even from this distance, in a heated argument. The woman gets so ........ed that she pulls the guys penis out and slices it off and tosses it out the window. The severed penis hits the dad's windshield and he freaks as his daughter asks, "Daddy, what's that?" The dad stumbles over his words trying to come up with an answer. Dad says, "Oh, that? That's... That's a fly, honey." His daughter says, "Wow. That fly has the biggest penis I've ever seen!"
    8/10.
    FAQ

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs." -- Joseph Weizenbaum.

    "If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, you are not ready to code it." -- Richard Pattis.

  11. #11
    Magically delicious LuckY's Avatar
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    Two guys are hunting in a forest. They're walking along as one of the guys just collapses to the ground. He's not talking and his eyes are shut and after a few moments he stops moving. The other guy is panicking trying to figure out what to do. He finally grabs his cell phone from his pocket and dials emergency service. The operator answers, "What is your emergency?" The guy yells at her, "We're in the woods. My friend just died! What do I do?!" She responds, "First we have to make sure he's dead." He says, "Okay. Hold on." She hears a silence... then a loud BANG. He gets back on the phone and says, "Okay, now what?"
    Last edited by LuckY; 11-20-2003 at 11:19 AM.

  12. #12
    Cheesy Poofs! PJYelton's Avatar
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    No offense, but since that joke was listed as the funniest joke in the world by a group of scientists last year, I've heard it about a thousand times!

    Hows this one:

    An elderly man walked into a confessional booth. The following
    conversation ensued:

    Man: "I am 82 years old, and have a wonderful wife of 60 years,
    many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
    Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. For some
    reason, they thought I was kind of interesting. One thing led
    to another, and we ended up at a motel, where I had sex with
    each of them twice."

    Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

    Man: "What sins?"

    Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

    Man: "I'm Jewish."

    Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

    Man: "Because I'm telling everybody!"

  13. #13
    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    LOL!

    9.5/10
    FAQ

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs." -- Joseph Weizenbaum.

    "If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, you are not ready to code it." -- Richard Pattis.

  14. #14
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    Joke nr.1)

    Funny. Lol the father must feel really screwed

    Didn't made me die of laughter though.
    6/10
    'lol'

    Joke nr.2)

    Oh my god it's lame. Still funny though.

    6/10
    'lel'

    Joke nr.3)

    This is really funny XD

    8/10
    'rofl'

    Joke nr.4)

    It's like, not funny. Except that the girls could be interested in that old guy

    4/10
    o.o
    -Felix
    Rots Soft
    If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
    Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

  15. #15
    Cat
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    Well, it was time for little Sally's first communion, and her family was gathering. Her parents, however, were quite worried about Uncle Andy, who had a habit of telling explicit jokes.

    After making him promise not to tell any jokes, Andy was reluctantly invited to the get-together as well. Things were going well until just after dinner, when Andy (who had a little too much to drink) said in a loud, boorish voice "Hey Sally! What's the difference between a blowjob and a crucifix?"

    Her family was horrified, and quickly shushed him. Sally looked a little confused, then turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, what's a crucifix?"
    You ever try a pink golf ball, Wally? Why, the wind shear on a pink ball alone can take the head clean off a 90 pound midget at 300 yards.

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