Some humour...

This is a discussion on Some humour... within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I'd just like to brighten everyone's day with an article brought to you by gamedev (it a few yrs old) ...

  1. #1
    I am he who is the man! Stan100's Avatar
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    Some humour...

    I'd just like to brighten everyone's day with an article brought to you by gamedev (it a few yrs old) [edit]I had to put code tags in[]

    "Source Code to Windows 98

    /* Source Code to Windows 98 -- Enjoy! */
    Code:
    #include "win31.h"
    #include "win95.h"
    #include "evenmore.h"
    #include "oldstuff.h"
    #include "billrulz.h"
    #define INSTALL = HARD
    
    char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
    void main()
    {
        while(!CRASHED)
        {
            display_copyright_message();
            display_bill_rules_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            if (first_time_installation)
            {
                make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                do_nothing_loop();
                totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
                search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                hang_system();
            }
    
            write_something(anything);
            display_copyright_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            do_some_stuff();
    
            if (still_not_crashed)
            {
                display_copyright_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                basically_run_windows_3.1();
                do_nothing_loop();
                do_nothing_loop();
            }
        }
    
        if (detect_cache())
            disable_cache();
    
        if (fast_cpu())
        {
             set_wait_states(lots);
             set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
             set_mouse(action, jumpy);
             set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
        }
    
        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
        printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
        if (system_ok())
            crash(to_dos_prompt)
        else
            system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
    
        while(something)
        {
            sleep(5);
            get_user_input();
            sleep(5);
            act_on_user_input();
            sleep(5);
        }
        create_general_protection_fault();
    }
    "
    Stan The Man. Beatles fan

    When I was a child,
    I spoke as a child,
    I thought as a child,
    I reasoned as a child.
    When I became a man,
    I put childish ways behind me"
    (the holy bible, Paul, in his first letter to the Cor. 13:11)

  2. #2
    Banned
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    while(!CRASHED)
    I find this funny, except for the fact that I actually use this in my game engine:

    while(WINDOWSHASNTCRASHED)

  3. #3
    carry on JaWiB's Avatar
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    That's not funny I love Windows 98
    "Think not but that I know these things; or think
    I know them not: not therefore am I short
    Of knowing what I ought."
    -John Milton, Paradise Regained (1671)

    "Work hard and it might happen."
    -XSquared

  4. #4
    I am he who is the man! Stan100's Avatar
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    Another Joke...

    I thought this was very appropiate, and come on, everyone knew this was inevitable:

    Sung to The Beatles "Let it Be"

    When I find my code in tons of trouble,
    Friends and colleagues come to me,
    Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C."

    As the deadline fast approaches,
    And bugs are all that I can see,
    Somewhere, someone whispers
    "Write in C."

    Write in C, write in C,
    Write in C, write in C.
    LISP is dead and buried,
    Write in C.

    I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
    for science it worked flawlessly,
    Try using it for graphics!
    Write in C.

    If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
    Debugging some assembly,
    Soon you will be glad to
    Write in C.

    Write in C, write in C,
    Write In C, yeah, write in C.
    Only wimps use BASIC,
    Write in C.
    Write in C, write in C,
    Write in C, oh, write in C.
    Pascal won't quite cut it,
    Write in C.

    Guitar Solo

    Write in C, write in C,
    Write in C, yeah, write in C.
    Don't even mention COBOL,
    Write in C.

    And when the screen is fuzzy,
    And the editor is bugging me,
    I'm sick of ones and zeroes,
    Write in C.

    A thousand people swear that T.P.
    Seven is the one for me.
    I hate the word PROCEDURE,
    Write in C.

    Write in C, write in C,
    Write in C, yeah, write in C.
    PL1 is 80's,
    Write in C.

    The government loves ADA,
    Write in C.
    Stan The Man. Beatles fan

    When I was a child,
    I spoke as a child,
    I thought as a child,
    I reasoned as a child.
    When I became a man,
    I put childish ways behind me"
    (the holy bible, Paul, in his first letter to the Cor. 13:11)

  5. #5
    Registered User [kcb] Ch33s3's Avatar
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    Ha thats pretty funny... im gonna have to say that XP is better, it doesnt crash as much as 98.

  6. #6
    Magically delicious LuckY's Avatar
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    That's a great song. I'd love some nerd to actually perform it.

    it doesnt crash as much as 98.
    I am in love with XP as it has crashed once, but possibly even twice since I've been running it (for about a year and a half) and with 98 (which I still use here at work) I crash and reboot at least five times daily (no exaggeration). Furthermore, for the past few weeks the computer randomly stops responding to mouse and keyboard input requiring a hard reboot...

  7. #7
    The Defective GRAPE Lurker's Avatar
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    Lucky - its November 5th.



    XIRTAM
    Do not make direct eye contact with me.

  8. #8
    Magically delicious LuckY's Avatar
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    Don't think I didn't know it Unfortunately life will not allow me to see it (in IMAX!) until tomorrow night... Counting the seconds.

  9. #9
    King of the Internet Fahrenheit's Avatar
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    if they are going to divide search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS by 2, they should at least put the result in a variable.

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