Personal problem

This is a discussion on Personal problem within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Hi guys! I need some advice on my current situation in my family. I got some really mean parents, just ...

  1. #1
    In your face... ha ha ha Liger86's Avatar
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    Unhappy Personal problem

    Hi guys! I need some advice on my current situation in my family.

    I got some really mean parents, just imagine, my dad just drives me nuts, to the point where it gets physical. So I want to get out of my house and go to a friendís house who offered me to live with him.

    Problem is Iím not 18 so I donít really know my rights, (I havenít taken law yet). Can I legally leave my house to live somewhere else or do I need to put my dad in jail (I can, there was like another police report filed earlier) in order to get out of the house?

    Any (legal) advice is good!
    From Ukraine with love!

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  2. #2
    End Of Line Hammer's Avatar
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    Well, I guess "legal" advice is going to depend on where you live (country etc). As you're currently located "in your toilet", the best thing I can suggest it get out and find a local authoritive figure who can guide you. Maybe someone at school, a guidance councillor/teacher for example, might be able to point you in the right direction.
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  3. #3
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    The results will vary based on where you are, but I hope you get out of there ok

  4. #4
    In your face... ha ha ha Liger86's Avatar
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    I live in USA, Michigan!

    I hope that helps! on helping me figure out a solution! Thanks!
    From Ukraine with love!

    Internationally known Ė widely respected

    - Digitally yourz -

  5. #5
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    Yes, you can move out.

    edit: where in MI?

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    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    Go to see the authorities on family problems. Where I'm from, that's the Children and Youth Services. It probably goes by a different name where you are. Regardless, there are people whose job it is to help persons in situations like your own. My suggestion is to seek out a case worker at such a place and just explain the situation to them.
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  7. #7
    In your face... ha ha ha Liger86's Avatar
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    I did however notify athorities at one of the previous insidents, but I regret it now.

    It was a bit crazy at first, my lack of knowledge really cracked on me. My teacher had me go outside to talk to him why I wasn't doing my work, so I told him about what happened, but by the law he had to tell the athorities, and that is what he did. But that is what I didn't want him to do.

    So this time I won't take it up to athorities, 'cause they just won't do anything exept put my dad in jail.

    What I want is to know my (legal) rights and just leave the house! That is my best way out. I don't want my dad in jail, because he got two other kids to take care of... Who knows.

    >>Yes, you can move out.

    Do I need any paperwork, or is my dad going to be held legally responsible for signing my papers that need parent or guardian signature?
    From Ukraine with love!

    Internationally known Ė widely respected

    - Digitally yourz -

  8. #8
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    > but I regret it now.

    What the hell for?

    > So this time I won't take it up to athorities, 'cause they just won't do anything exept put my dad in jail.

    Sounds like a little time in there might be good for him.

    Do you have any relatives you can live with?

    > Do I need any paperwork, or is my dad going to be held legally responsible for signing my papers that need parent or guardian signature?

    I don't know why you would, but we're probably not the best people to ask.

  9. #9
    Senior Member joshdick's Avatar
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    If you want to know your legal rights, ask an attorney.

    If you really have no clue where to go for help, you could just go to your local municipal building and keep asking questions and telling your story. No one in a municipal building is out to get you. Everyone should either be able to help you or tell you who can.
    FAQ

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs." -- Joseph Weizenbaum.

    "If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower, you are not ready to code it." -- Richard Pattis.

  10. #10
    Xei
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    I think that if he is physically abusing you that you should pick up any convenient, nearby, inanimate object and smash him upside the head repeatedly until he is no longer able to harm you. Since you are underage you will likely goto an orphanage or something similar. Another solution may be to find someone (possibly from this board) and take a bus and stay with them for a while(if your father has such 'qualities' then he likely wont care where you went). Anyways, hang in there!
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  11. #11
    napKINfolk.com napkin111's Avatar
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    I moved out the day before I was 18 due (mainly) to religious clashes with my parents. I currently live with a friend and his parents who are nice enough to let me live with them (don't really have much contact with his parents, just kind of come and go), but I am working on a duplex I am moving in to. All of that is irrelevant I suppose...

    Anyway, don't put up with 5#17 you don't deserve, and if they won't talk about it rationally (ie "I'm the parent, do what I say without question"), move out for sure.

    I could be wrong heh...guess its all a matter of perspective.

    //napKIN

    EDIT: I see you were born Feb 1986, you could definently move out. What are they going to do? Call the cops and say "my 17 1/2 year old son moved out cause I abuse him"? Just make sure you have a job when you move out otherwise you will be pretty screwed unless you are living with some really nice people who want to give you free room/board/food/everything.
    Last edited by napkin111; 09-19-2003 at 02:48 AM.
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  12. #12
    H&R
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    Liger86, Hang in there pal, I think the advice posted so far is pretty good, speak to the authorities social services or the US equivalent but if youíre concerned that things might go pear shaped you maybe need to think about whatís going on at home are you and Dad just losing it with each other or is the old man just a violent beating the kids up type. If itís the latter then the authorities need to know not just for you but for the others, if that mean a jail term then itíll give time to reflect and hopefully change. If you and the old man are just winding each other up them maybe the authorities isnít such a good idea. Me and my Dad had similar problems for about six years, no violence but thatís just us we are neither of us violent, we got to the point were we wouldnít speak to each other or even be in the same room, but as time wore on I got older he got older and what was really happening was me growing up trying to assert myself in his house and him feeling like he was losing control. what solved the problem was time, football, we rebuilt our relationship through going to Anfield together, for years our only conversations were about footy, and the birth of my little boy it was like ďHa you try and be good at thisĒ it made me realise some of what went on was me being a pain (at one point I was determined to change my name to Zaphod Bebblebrox).Shakes head in disgust. The point being that what could be happening is a power struggle between two guy's in the same house.
    Where is you mom in all this? Is she someone you can talk to? Even just to say ďListen mom I canít deal with this, Iím gonna stay with Billy-bob for a while let things settle downĒ.

    If the above helps, smashin. If not I hope something on the board does, but it would nice if you could bump the thread every once in a while let us know how youíre doin.

    TTFN

    PS: I hope the smash him on the head suggestion was light hearted, you want the system on your side not his
    YNWA

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  13. #13
    Registered User rick barclay's Avatar
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    Go live with your friend, and screw the law and your father.
    He might even respect you more. The sooner anyone gets out
    of the parents house and out on their own, the better off everyone is. My father was a drinker who drove me nuts, and
    I moved out on my 21st birthday. The freedom I had was
    a beautiful thing, cleared my head, and made my father finally
    realize I was my own person. When I moved out I was out of
    school and gainfully employed, so I was able to support myself.
    Hopefully, you have a job and can pay whoever puts you up
    rent. If you don't pay rent and eat at your friend's house, there
    will be a short grace period where you'll be welcome, but at some
    point if you don't pay your way then they'll look upon you as a moocher. True independence comes only with the ability to
    support yourself, to pay your through life and not have to depend
    upon the charity of others. I've seen it and lived it from both sides.

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  14. #14
    PC Fixer-Upper Waldo2k2's Avatar
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    you don't have to go to the authorities.
    If you move out, he'll probably report you missing or have hte cops come get you...to avoid all that ask your councelor at school to help you contact a CHILD ADVOCACY LAWYER. They work for free and can get you emancipated legally.
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  15. #15
    Lead Moderator kermi3's Avatar
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    You may be able to go to the school counciler and ask if you can speak to him confidentially and find all of these things out. You may even be able to do it without telling him exactly what the problem is so that he doesn't have to report it.

    However, your dad has no right to hit you. I know you don't want to see him thrown in jail, but you in no way deserve to be hit either. He's doing something wrong, not you.
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