My plan on how to conquer the universe

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  1. #1
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    My plan on how to conquer the universe

    Here is how I plan to conquer the universe.

    First, I must get a patent clerk drunk.
    Then, once the patent clerk is drunk, I can easily convince the patent clerk to let me patent the 1 and the 0.
    Once I patent the 1 and the 0, I will essentially own the rights to everything.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  2. #2
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
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    I already own those patents
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  3. #3
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    D'oh! Well then....i will patent you....
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  4. #4
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    To bad, I own the patetns to on and off. As well as myself, preventing anyone from patenting me.
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

  5. #5
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
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    I own the patent to patents. hah, i own you all.

  6. #6
    Ethereal Raccoon Procyon's Avatar
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    Sorry, Bill Gates beat you to it again...

    http://www.theonion.com/onion3311/microsoftpatents.html

  7. #7
    Former Member
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    darn!, I thought it was my idea.

    but oh hell, I'll think of another way..

    Oskilian

  8. #8
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
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    no you won't... without paying heavy fines at least.

    I patented thinking about an hour ago.

  9. #9
    Former Member
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    AARRGGHH, I should havve thought of that, but you know, I am gonna patent heartbeating, each time you have a heartbeat, you should pay me 10 cents (USA cents).

    Oskilian

  10. #10
    Has a Masters in B.S.
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    actually microsoft patented/(bought rights to) existence, the atom(and everything attributes to it), soup in general, monkeys and midgets, macaroni, cheese, and light, about a week back
    ADVISORY: This users posts are rated CP-MA, for Mature Audiences only.

  11. #11
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
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    and steve ballmer trademarked the word "Developers"
    and patented sweat
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  12. #12
    Confused Magos's Avatar
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    Huh?

    I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?
    MagosX.com

    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
    Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

  13. #13
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
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    >I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?<

    "Microsoft has not yet announced whether it will charge a user fee to individuals who wish to engage in such mathematically rooted motions as walking, stretching and smiling."

    You decide......
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  14. #14
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    I have just patented micro and soft.
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

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