Trouble using Wife 1.0

This is a discussion on Trouble using Wife 1.0 within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Funniest email I ever got! To: Tech Support Dear Sir, Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to ...

  1. #1
    Student Forever! bookworm's Avatar
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    Trouble using Wife 1.0

    Funniest email I ever got!

    To: Tech Support

    Dear Sir,
    Last year I upgraded my system from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began creating problems within the system processing and that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

    Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

    Applications such as Poker Night 2.3, Girlfriend 3.2 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the entire system whenever selected

    I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while running my other favorite applications. Whichever module or software I enter, only Wife 1.0 seems to run and nothing else.

    I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall from Wife 1.0 to Girlfriend 7.0 does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

    Thanks,
    Robert.
    ************************************************** **
    Dear Robert,

    This is a very common problem men users of the Wife 1.0 software complain about but it is mostly due to a primary misconception of the software.

    Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

    Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.

    Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed !!

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Worries Invited For Ever (Wife 1.0)".

    I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding general partnership faults (GPFs).

    You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action to solve this major IT problem of yours will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

    In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

    Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend you to install the latest gift software like Flowers 2.1, Necklaces 3.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

    note: Do not under any circumstances, install Secretary With Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application; in fact it is a deadly virus for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    regards,
    Amlan.

  2. #2
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    kind of old but still funny.

  3. #3
    RoD
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    old as the internet, 1/10 for effort

  4. #4
    Registered User FloatingPoint's Avatar
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    I want it I want it I want it!

  5. #5
    Just a Member ammar's Avatar
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    wait until you see wife Xp!!!
    none...

  6. #6
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    No, no. I heard she had security problems.

  7. #7
    left crog... back when? incognito's Avatar
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    well hahaha I had not heard it before 7/10
    There are some real morons in this world please do not become one of them, do not become a victim of moronitis. PROGRAMMING IS THE FUTURE...THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!!!!!!!

    "...The only real game I thank in the world is baseball..." --Babe Ruth

    "Life is beautiful"-Don Corleone right before he died.

    "The expert on anything was once a beginner" -Baseball poster I own.


    Left cprog on 1-3-2005. Don't know when I am coming back. Thanks to those who helped me over the years.

  8. #8
    Banned frenchfry164's Avatar
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    How many times must this joke be posted on this forum? It's like it never dies.

    PS: I'm not flaming you, so don't get your shorts in a wad.

  9. #9
    napKINfolk.com napkin111's Avatar
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    LOL! Thats my first time seeing it and I find it totally hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

    //napKIN

  10. #10
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    I've seen it before, but not in a while.

  11. #11
    Just a Member ammar's Avatar
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    Originally posted by frenchfry164
    It's like it never dies
    That's also one of the special things about wife 1.0
    none...

  12. #12
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    Havent heard that before.

    It was pretty good, 7/10
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  13. #13
    RoD
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    Originally posted by frenchfry164
    It's like it never dies
    I think i posted it once too

  14. #14
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    You know I heard about this guy down in St. George, Utah who figured out a way to install Wife 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0 all at the same time. Maybe he can help you with your problem.

  15. #15
    Registered User FloatingPoint's Avatar
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    Hmm..on different partitions I suppose

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