Good God, things aren't going too well for me in my life right now.
Since about December, I've been incredibly depressed. This depression's now been magnified big time, due to some happenings in my life. I got kicked outta school, lost my first job ever, and I'm falling far behind everyone else in life....and that's not even the tip of the ice berg.
Excessive worry, anxiety, anger, and depression plague every waking moment of my life.
I've started getting stress headaches...and quite badly. I cut arm the other day, and I've threatened to take my own life(trying to get attention and help) many times.
I can barely even sleep anymore. This stress and depression is tearing my to pieces from the inside, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to seek professional help, because I don't want to have some idiot talk to my liked I'm a crazed lunatic.
I'm an incredibly ugly idiot that'll never have any friends. I'm like 16 and 1/2, and I've never even had a girlfriend or anything, and there's stupid 12 year olds out there, who've had like 10 girlfriends, and got laid plenty of times.
I have no talents whatsoever. I fail or quit anything I start doing. I'm weak as hell, and it's just pathetic.
The only things that can help me are getting out of the house whenever I can,(which I can't, really because my dad's laid up in bed due to surgery, and I don't have my license yet(which I SHOULD'VE had by now!)) and the other thing that helps is alcohol, since it makes me feel better about myself.
But this is all my fault. I can't do anything right at all. If I could, I probably wouldn't be in this mess now. I'd be normal, and happy.
I'm just posting this to tell someone, I guess.