Jokes!

This is a discussion on Jokes! within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; You Got some good Jokes Latley. Here is one. A little boy is sent to bed by his father. Five ...

  1. #1
    Registered User SAMSAM's Avatar
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    Talking Jokes!

    You Got some good Jokes Latley.

    Here is one.

    A little boy is sent to bed by his father.
    Five minutes later....
    "Da-ad...."
    "What?
    "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a glass of water?"
    "No. You had your chance. Lights out.."
    Five minutes later:
    "Da-aaaad....."
    "WHAT?"
    "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a glass of water??"
    "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
    Five minutes later......
    "Daaaa-aaaad....."
    "WHAAAAT!"
    "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a glass of water?"

  2. #2
    The Pantless Man CheesyMoo's Avatar
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    How many Chinnese people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    ...


    I uh... don't know.
    If you ever need a hug, just ask.

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    Bios Raider biosninja's Avatar
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    This is 10 to 1 an old one and very lame!!!

    Q: How many programers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: None. It's a hardware problem
    The knack of flying is learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

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    Originally posted by biosninja
    This is 10 to 1 an old one and very lame!!!

    Q: How many programers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: None. It's a hardware problem
    LMAO yeah oldie but a goodie

    Here's one:

    How many Pollocks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    - 3, one to onld the bulb and 2 to spin the ladder.

    -Bill

    P.S. I'm Polish so don't think i'm bashing Polish peoples.

    P.P.S. and i don't want to hear "You're Polish? Ohh, I'm sorry" remarks either
    cout << My_Balls;
    cin >> Jo_Mouf;

  5. #5
    Just a Member ammar's Avatar
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    Originally posted by biosninja
    This is 10 to 1 an old one and very lame!!!

    Q: How many programers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: None. It's a hardware problem
    nice, although I never heard it!
    Maybe people here in computer science department, don't like talking about it!
    none...

  6. #6
    RoD
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    lmao thats one of those ones u go "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" and laugh your ass off.....nice one mav

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    Re: Jokes!

    Originally posted by SAMSAM
    You Got some good Jokes Latley.

    Here is one.

    A little boy is sent to bed by his father.
    Five minutes later....
    "Da-ad...."
    "What?
    "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a glass of water?"
    "No. You had your chance. Lights out.."
    Five minutes later:
    "Da-aaaad....."
    "WHAT?"
    "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a glass of water??"
    "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
    Five minutes later......
    "Daaaa-aaaad....."
    "WHAAAAT!"
    "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a glass of water?"
    That's cute.
    The world is waiting. I must leave you now.

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    q - What do custer and hussein have in common?
    a - They both wanted to know where those damn tomahawks were coming from

    q - What do little miss piggy and hussein have in common?
    a - They both had Kurds(curds) in their way(whey)

    q - Why don't they teach sex ed and drivers ed on the same day in arab countries?
    a - It wears out the camel

  9. #9
    mov.w #$1337,D0 Jeremy G's Avatar
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    My jokes are far too racist, sexist and just plain obscene to be told here--what can I say, I learned all my jokes from bikers at Super rallys. (hundreds upon hundreds of [mostly harley] bikers camping out with bands and beer bungies, yippe)
    c++->visualc++->directx->opengl->c++;
    (it should be realized my posts are all in a light hearted manner. And should not be taken offense to.)

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    RoD
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    >>(hundreds upon hundreds of [mostly harley] bikers camping out with bands and beer bungies, yippe)


    Ahhhh bike week :P

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    Crazy Fool Perspective's Avatar
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    ok, heres a dumb joke for math geeks.

    a physics guru and math matician are put to a problem solving challenge...

    challenge 1: you have a kettle, a working tap and stove. the challenge is to boil water.

    phys solution: fill kettle with water, place on hot stove untill it boils.

    math guy: same as above.

    challenge 2: same as above, except the kettle is given to you already full of water.

    phys guy: place kettle on hot stove untill it boils.

    math guy: dump the water out of the kettle and proceed with the first solution.



    yeah, so its pretty lame. but i heard it from a math prof so what do you expect?

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    world's shortest books:
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    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

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    Registered User SAMSAM's Avatar
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    1 more!





    From the WordPerfect Help Desk

    This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

    "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    "What sort of trouble?"

    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    "Went away?"

    "They disappeared."

    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

    "Nothing."

    "Nothing?"

    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

    "How do I tell?"

    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

    "What's a sea-prompt?"

    "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

    "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

    "What's a monitor?"

    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

    "I don't know."

    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

    "Yes, I think so."

    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

    ".......Yes, it is."

    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

    "No."

    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

    ".......Okay, here it is."

    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

    "I can't reach."

    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

    "No."

    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

    "Dark?"

    "Yes - the light is off . and the only light i have comes from
    the window."

    "Well, turn on the light then."

    "I can't."

    "No? Why not?"

    "Because there's a power outage."

    "A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

    "Really? Is it that baaad?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

    "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."


    Edit:





    www.YoMama

    Yo mama''s so fat, she dont need the internet - she''s already world wide
    Last edited by SAMSAM; 04-25-2003 at 06:50 PM.

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    SAMSAM, old but still funny.

  15. #15
    RoD
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    lmfao thats a good one, first time i heard it.

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