Computer Quotes

This is a discussion on Computer Quotes within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I was just looking at a website with some good quotes... There are two major products that come out of ...

  1. #1
    carry on JaWiB's Avatar
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    Computer Quotes

    I was just looking at a website with some good quotes...

    There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
    -Jeremy S. Anderson


    "Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!'"

    "Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation."
    -William Gibson

    "Genuinely skillful use of obscenities is uniformly absent on the Internet."
    -Karl Kleinpaste

    "I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away... it was already here. I just wasn't aware of it yet."
    -Bruce Sterling

    "What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator."
    -Anon.

    "Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad."
    -Anon.

    The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec."
    -Marcus Dolengo

    "Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."
    -Jeff Pesis

    "Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
    -Steve Wozniak

    "As soon as we started programming, we found out to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs."
    -Maurice Wilkes

    "It's easy to cry 'bug' when the truth is that you've got a complex system and sometimes it takes a while to get all the components to co-exist peacefully."
    -Doug Vargas

    "The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out..."

    "WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue."

    "Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though."

    "Hit any user to continue."

    "Earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can."

    "BASIC - A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company."

    Real programmers are those that can sleep in front of terminals ... with their eyes opened."
    -ricS

    "Real programmers don't work from 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9am it's because they were up all night."

    "There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works."

    "f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng."

    "Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers."
    -Leonard Brandwein

    There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
    -C.A.R. Hoare

    "A crash is when your competitor's program dies. When your program dies, it is an 'idiosyncrasy'. Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02'. 'ID' is an abbreviation for idiosyncrasy and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had."
    -Guy Kawasaki

    "As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, in real applications."
    -Dave Parnas

    Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading."
    -Dave Storer

    "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
    -Bjarne Stroustrup

    "The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."
    -Joseph Weizenbaum



    Oops...got a little carried away...
    "Think not but that I know these things; or think
    I know them not: not therefore am I short
    Of knowing what I ought."
    -John Milton, Paradise Regained (1671)

    "Work hard and it might happen."
    -XSquared

  2. #2
    C++ Developer XSquared's Avatar
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    >>The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.


    >>What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
    lol

    >>Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
    Must be from 'Computers for Dummies'.
    Naturally I didn't feel inspired enough to read all the links for you, since I already slaved away for long hours under a blistering sun pressing the search button after typing four whole words! - Quzah

    You. Fetch me my copy of the Wall Street Journal. You two, fight to the death - Stewie

  3. #3
    RoD
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    Redundantly Redundant RoD's Avatar
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    >>"f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmmng."


    hahaha

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    haha, too lazy to quote. but some were funny.

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    Linguistic Engineer... doubleanti's Avatar
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    "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
    -Bjarne Stroustrup <

    classic, no?

    DA... who blew s'hiz leg off on a regular basis trying to get AktiF to an ungrateful audience! (but now i'm armed with rhetorical analysis... muahahah)...
    hasafraggin shizigishin oppashigger...

  6. #6
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    "Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."
    -Jeff Pesis

    True, yet funny.

    Quite a few good ones..
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  7. #7
    i want wookie cookies the Wookie's Avatar
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    haha i like the 9.8 m/s^2

  8. #8
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    u guys shouldn't underestimate macs.
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  9. #9
    Registered User Vber's Avatar
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    There is a lot more quotes...
    "hAS aNYONE sEEN MY cAPSLOCK kEY ?"

    "Java is, in many ways, C++--." Michael Feldman.


    "C++ : Where friends have access to your private members." Gavin Russell Baker.

    "If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL."

    Programmer /n./ A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
    http://www.gdargaud.net/Humor/QuotesComputer.html
    Last edited by Vber; 03-30-2003 at 01:55 PM.

  10. #10
    Registered User Fredd's Avatar
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    Since we are all sharing

    testing? What's that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is
    perfect.
    --- Linus Torvalds

    Goto, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
    to complain about unstructured programmers.
    -- Ray Simard

    Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

    "Who cares if it doesn't do anything? It was made with our new
    Triple-Iso-Bifurcated-Krypton-Gate-MOS process ..."

    Machine-Independent, adj.:
    Does not run on any existing machine.

    USER:
    A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.

    How do you power off this machine?
    -- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine for several months

    Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
    A: A canary with the super-user password.
    "Writing software is more fun than working."

    got slack?
    http://www.slackware.com/

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by my piece of $$$$ computer
    10100101
    10100101
    00000000
    10010110
    1010110W

  12. #12
    Xei
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    86W (7-Bit)

    or

    VW

    or (with W added to 86)

    _

    I don't get it.
    Last edited by Xei; 03-30-2003 at 09:55 PM.

  13. #13
    Linguistic Engineer... doubleanti's Avatar
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    me neither much but i was thinking maybe it's a funny quote because it's a darn error!
    hasafraggin shizigishin oppashigger...

  14. #14
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    Originally posted by doubleanti
    me neither much but i was thinking maybe it's a funny quote because it's a darn error!

  15. #15
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    Not a real computer quote, but since it is from Von Neumann, it is in some way.

    In mathematics, you never understand things; you just get used to them.
    - John von Neumann

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