Source Code To Windows 98, LMAO

This is a discussion on Source Code To Windows 98, LMAO within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Code: #include "win31.h" #include "win95.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" #define INSTALL = HARD char make_prog_look_big[1600000]; void main() { ...

  1. #1
    Registered User Generator's Avatar
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    Talking Source Code To Windows 98, LMAO

    Code:
    #include "win31.h"
    #include "win95.h"
    #include "evenmore.h"
    #include "oldstuff.h"
    #include "billrulz.h"
    #define INSTALL = HARD
    
    char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
    void main()
    {
        while(!CRASHED)
        {
            display_copyright_message();
            display_bill_rules_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            if (first_time_installation)
            {
                make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                do_nothing_loop();
                totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
                search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                hang_system();
            }
    
            write_something(anything);
            display_copyright_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            do_some_stuff();
    
            if (still_not_crashed)
            {
                display_copyright_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                basically_run_windows_3.1();
                do_nothing_loop();
                do_nothing_loop();
            }
        }
    
        if (detect_cache())
            disable_cache();
    
        if (fast_cpu())
        {
             set_wait_states(lots);
             set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
             set_mouse(action, jumpy);
             set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
        }
    
        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
        printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
        if (system_ok())
            crash(to_dos_prompt)
        else
            system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
    
        while(something)
        {
            sleep(5);
            get_user_input();
            sleep(5);
            act_on_user_input();
            sleep(5);
        }
        create_general_protection_fault();
    }
    What's a matter you no like peppi?

  2. #2
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
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    that sounds about right =P

  3. #3
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    I thought it was...

    Code:
    #include "WowIMadeAHeader.h"
    
    int main(void)
    {
         while(1)
         {
               Run_Windows(); //they even hide inner workings in their SOURCE!
               if(not_crashed() && user == doing_something_important)
                   crash();
               else
               {
                    for(int x = 0; x < 20, x++)
                         annoy();
                     crash();
                }
                Delete_Important_Files(all);
          }
          return 666;
    }
    isn't that more correct?

  4. #4
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
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    add the

    crash_baby = pick_a_random_number_from(1,1)
    if (crash_baby == 1)
    {
    print_vague_and_impossible_to_understand_error_mes sage();
    crash_repetedly();
    }

    and you will be perfect.

  5. #5
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    My computer gave me this message this morning...
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Ramble on...

  6. #6
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    yeah? well I got THIS:
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  7. #7
    Registered User Generator's Avatar
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    LOL that's hilarious evenflow
    What's a matter you no like peppi?

  8. #8
    the Corvetter
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    You guys are a tough crowd to please. Although, I'm anti-microsoft also. Right on!

  9. #9
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    Thats interesting, i thought this was the Win98 source code:

    //Windows 98 source
    #include <dos.h>
    #include <linux.h>
    #include "billrulz.h"

    int main ( void )
    {

    //the boot up process

    BootUp(speed(SLOW));
    UseMemory("95%");
    Display(CopyRightMessage());
    Display(BillRulzMessage());
    while(BillRulz())
    {
    if(FastComputer()) CreateVirus();
    if(SlowComputer()) Format("C:");
    else AnnoyUser(Run(SCANDISK));
    if(UserIsSmart()) Insert(BSOD, INFINITELY);
    if(User(Reboots)) Format("C:");
    }

    //finally we get into Windows

    Linux->WindowsShell();

    return 666;

    }
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  10. #10
    .
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    You know Generator that soruce is avaiable all over the net. Try to be creative like ken, or davidP

    This is the souce code for xp.

    //Welcome to windows
    PRINT "Bill rules"
    PRINT "You owe 9,999,999,999,999 dolars"
    PRINT "Bill has 999,999,999,9999,999,999 dollars"
    PRINT "Sorry can't run windows until your bill is paid"
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

  11. #11
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    >>if(UserIsSmart()) Insert(BSOD, INFINITELY);

    Right on!

    Ack, but you forgot this:

    Code:
    MainThread(void)
    {
         char yorn;
         Open(ALL_INET_PORTS);
         Display(CopyrightInfo());
         Boot(Sys.DOS);
         Spinoff(GUI_OFF_DOS);
         if(ClockedAt > .5){SlowDown(ALL_PROCESSES);}
         else 
         {
               Display(CopyrightInfo());
               printf("Cannot boot Win98\n");
               printf("Starting core file (aka Win3.1)\n");
               Boot(Sys.DOS->Win3p1);
               SlowDown(ALL_PROCESSES);
          }
          Start(UNWANTED_APPS);
          ReInstall(UNWANTED_APPS);
          Move(RndFileChunk, RecycleBin);
          SpyOn(USER);
          if(user == intelligent) { steal_ideas(); }
          Display(CopyrightInfo());
          for(int billrulz = 0; billrulz < 30; billrulz++)
          {
                Randomize(ERROR_MSGS);
                Display(ERROR_MSGS);
          }
           if(fullmoon) { printf("I love yo momma!"); }
           if(Y2K_COMPLIANT) { crash(); }
           Download(MS_UPDATES);
           if(!Register) 
           { 
                 reboot();
                 printf("Format  C:? (Y/N)");
                 yorn = getch();
                 if(tolower(yorn) == 'y' || tolower(yorn) == 'n')
                     System("Format C: -override");
            }
    }
    I can't believe you could forget that!
    Last edited by -KEN-; 10-20-2001 at 12:12 AM.

  12. #12
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    oh, now you want the source to XP, eh? you guys ARE tough to please!

    Code:
    #include "XP.h"
    #include "WinNT.h"
    
    void WaitCrashThread(void);
    
    int main(void)
    {
    	//bootup
    	Randomize(ERROR_MSGS); //WinXP does this at BOOT! Neat!
    	UseMem("75%"); //improvement!
    	Boot(WinNT->XPShell);
    	DumbDown(WIN_NT);
    	LockOut(USER_CMDS); //only during boot though, right?
    	if(SystemSweep(PhysicalDrive, "erroneous") == 1) //oopsie!
    	{
    		SysBeep(1);
    		printf("possible error found on drive %s - reformatting.\n",PhysicalDrive);
    		Format(PhysicalDrive);
    		if(USER_FRANTICALLY_BASHING_KEYS)
    			StallSystem(50);
    		printf("There we go, all clean");
    		Reboot();
    	}
    	else //continue loading XP
    	{
    		Release(USER_CMDS);
    		Load(PrettySkin, BUTCHER_COMPRESS);
    		if(!UserLogin())
    		{
    			LockOut(USER_CMDS); //shouldn't ........ed XP off!
    			printf("Bad Boy!\n");
    			while(1)
    			{	
    				Reboot();
    				Crash();
    			}
    		}
    		Play(Load(AnnoyingStartupMIDI), MAX_VOLUME);
    		LockOut(COMPETITOR_APPS); //including ZoneAlaram! Take that!
    		if(SystemSweep(ALL_DRIVES, "competitor) == 1) {_unlink(Found);}
    		Load(WIN_NT::XP_CORE) //slipped in a SMALL touch of C++
    	} //Great, done booting up!
    	Start(ALL_APPS);
    	Start(UNWANTED_APPS);
    	Annoy();
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	Annoy();
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	if(!Register)
    		KillComputer(TOTAL, FRY_RAM, MELT_CPU);
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	if(Closed(ANY_APP)
    		Restart_App();
    	Call(WaitCrashThread());
    	return 666;
    }
    
    void WaitCrashThread(void)
    {
    	Wait(30); //one month
    	Crash();
    	LockOutEx(USER_CMDS, FORCE_REINSTALL);
    }
    whew, that was a lot to type! But the public has the right to know!

  13. #13
    the Corvetter
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    The truth is out there

  14. #14
    Registered User
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    U guys got it all wrong.

    #include <dos.h>
    int main()
    {
    crash();

    return(0)
    }
    Think out of the box! Open Source rules!

    -Breach23

  15. #15
    the Corvetter
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    > #include <dos.h>
    int main()
    {
    crash();

    return(0)
    } <

    Short and...sour

    --Garfield

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