If Microsoft made cars...

This is a discussion on If Microsoft made cars... within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; For those of you haven't seen this already! For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection ...

  1. #1
    Cheesy Poofs! PJYelton's Avatar
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    If Microsoft made cars...

    For those of you haven't seen this already!
    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
    computer industry with the auto industry and stated, " If GM had kept up with
    technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
    cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
    new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
    have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
    the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For
    some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
    car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
    reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
    five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
    percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
    replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
    light.

    7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
    refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
    the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
    drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
    manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

  2. #2
    RoD
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    Redundantly Redundant RoD's Avatar
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    lmao

  3. #3
    Registered User Vber's Avatar
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    ...

    LOL!
    The most funny 8.
    Hahha

  4. #4
    5|-|1+|-|34|) ober's Avatar
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    funny... seen it before tho...

    off the subject... but VBer... why do you always put a subject in with "..." You don't have to have a subject to post... just to start a thread...
    EntropySink. You know you have to click it.

  5. #5
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    LMAO

    Never heard that before. It would have been nice if he got Linux in there somehow....
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  6. #6
    Registered User Vber's Avatar
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    off the subject... but VBer... why do you always put a subject in with "..." You don't have to have a subject to post... just to start a thread...
    Ok.. I'll make that

  7. #7
    Much older and wiser Fountain's Avatar
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    To be honest it wasnt really THAT amusing. Cant anyone do ant better?
    Such is life.

  8. #8
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    if microsoft was making cars
    Whe'd all never crash EVER again
    No really, Making microsoft out for things just because
    theyre rich,famous and succesfull just sucks! OK?!?!

  9. #9
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Fountain
    To be honest it wasnt really THAT amusing. Cant anyone do ant better?
    I dont think I could.

    I would like to see what you can come up with.
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  10. #10
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    Originally posted by MethodMan
    I dont think I could.

    I would like to see what you can come up with.
    O come on, Dont go there!

  11. #11
    napKINfolk.com napkin111's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Fountain
    To be honest it wasnt really THAT amusing. Cant anyone do ant better?
    Oh please, I thought it was hilarious. Thanks for sharing PJYelton.

    //napKIN
    "The best way to get answers is to just keep working the problem, recognizing when you are stalled, and directing the search pattern.....Donít just wait for The Right Thing to strike you Ė try everything you think might even be in the right direction, so you can collect clues about the nature of the problem."
    -John Carmack

  12. #12
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    No really, Making microsoft out for things just because
    theyre rich,famous and succesfull just sucks! OK?!?!
    (Sorry if the quote tags didn't work - I'm not cookied right now, so I had to do it by hand)

    As true as that may be, all of GM's points are true.

  13. #13
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    Originally posted by Sean
    As true as that may be, all of GM's points are true.
    Yep, But weird thing is microsoft always seems to be the target...
    Lunix is even more full of crap then windows is.

  14. #14
    Funniest man in this seat minesweeper's Avatar
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    That press release is quite old isn't it? I mean about Windows 98 time? I used to have quite a lot of problems with Windows 98 and lack of stability. I was constantly having to restart and it just deteriorated over time. Then my previous company gave me XP........Very impressed. Big improvement, set itself up with minimal input from me, dead easy to use and very stable so far. Has crashed on me twice, both times dumping the data I am currently working with into a temporary file from which I can extract it upon restart. Don't really see why anyone would need any other OS.

  15. #15
    moi
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    beyond old.
    hello, internet!

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