Crippling Depression...What's Happened To Me?
A while ago, I used to be a very happy person. I used to just have fun all the time and stuff. I was heavily into martial arts at a time, and was in excellent shape. I used to be a fun-loving, free spirit. Back then, I didn't let anything get me down. I used to be a good kid, with no worries at all, and not a care in the world.
But now, I feel depressed constantly. Practically every day I get really depressed. I have no friends, never even had a girl friend, my voice squeeks every other sentence, I'm an outcast in my own family, and nobody understands me. And that's just the start of my problems. I think I'm the biggest loser in the world. I get ........ed off and/or cry over the stupidest things. I feel like everyone's out to get me, and wont leave me alone.
In May, an incident occured involving a burning trailor and myself.
I was blamed for the crime, and punished the worst. After that happened, I lost all my friends at school. People began to pick on me, and call me 'Arson Boy' and things. I've stolen countless times from stores and people. I get bad grades at school, where every moment I'm in absolute misery. I have only one person who actually talks to me at school, and he was also involved in the fire incedent.
All over my home town, and everywhere I go, I carry my bad reputation as a trouble maker with me. I can never set foot in my local library again because I ruined one of their security alarms. People are afraid of me....they hate me.
Things like this make me feel like I have no right to live on this Earth. Is my behavior normal? Am I a freak, or an outcast? I dont know. But if you ask me, I definately think my current situation is definately grounds for suicide.