Consumer warnings

This is a discussion on Consumer warnings within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I saw this the other day and started laughing, no doubt spurred on by all the stupid lawsuits we've been ...

  1. #1
    Cheesy Poofs! PJYelton's Avatar
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    Consumer warnings

    I saw this the other day and started laughing, no doubt spurred on by all the stupid lawsuits we've been seeing lately...

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:

    On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

    On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

    On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

    On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

    On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

    In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

    On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

    In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

    On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

    On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

    On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)

    On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

    On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)

    On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (OK...)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)

    On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

    On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

    On some frozen dinners - SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron - DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

    On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine - DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

  2. #2
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    Re: Consumer warnings

    Originally posted by PJYelton
    I saw this the other day and started laughing, no doubt spurred on by all the stupid lawsuits we've been seeing lately...
    LMAO

    Ive seen similar ones, but before I see the label, Im going to be skeptical about some of those.

    [ I just figured out, if you highlight the text from someones post, and then click on quote, it will just quote that section. Cool ]
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  3. #3
    Shadow12345
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    Re: Re: Consumer warnings

    Originally posted by MethodMan
    LMAO

    Ive seen similar ones, but before I see the label, Im going to be skeptical about some of those.

    [ I just figured out, if you highlight the text from someones post, and then click on quote, it will just quote that section. Cool ]
    holy crap you're right *bows*

  4. #4
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    WTF, It didnt do what I thought it would, It didnt quote what I want I just realized that now.

    I wanted to quote the chainsaw thing, I guess it wont quote text that is in the quote tags.
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

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