Programming humour

This is a discussion on Programming humour within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I found this really funny . Add your own links too...

  1. #1
    Refugee face_master's Avatar
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    Programming humour

    I found this really funny. Add your own links too
    Please direct all complaints regarding this post to the nearest brick wall Have a nice day.

  2. #2
    Registered User Nutshell's Avatar
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    lol...but i still don't think all of the cases are real.

  3. #3
    Bios Raider biosninja's Avatar
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    I had a case where someone asked mo how to erase a carater in a document. I told him to go to the character and press the delete key. He replied : "Where's the delete key?"
    How dumb can you get?

  4. #4
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    The compressed code story actually has some validity in embedded vb. I'm not sure if it makes it run faster, but compressing the code in eVB can dramatically reduce the executable size (according to a devbuzz article). The writer wrote code as usual but ran a compression utility that deleted spaces, etc before compiling.
    Truth is a malleable commodity - Dick Cheney

  5. #5
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    I despise Computer-related jokes
    Last edited by Zewu; 10-24-2002 at 02:25 PM.

  6. #6
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    That's hilarious - thanks for the link!

  7. #7
    Rambling Man
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    This one right here is a regular mistake by my friend in programming class...

    Code:
    begin
        readln("Number of Apples", apples);
        readln("Number of Carrots", carrots);
        readln("Price for 1 Apple", a_price);
        readln("Price for 1 Carrot", c_price);
        writeln("Total for Apples", a_total);
        writeln("Total for Carrots", c_total);
        writeln("Total", total);
        total := a_total + c_total;
        a_total := apples * a_price;
        c_total := carrots + c_price;
    end;

  8. #8
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    Those are pretty funny. I found this one amusing

    if (value == 0)
    return value;
    else
    return 0;

    I wish I knew how he wrote that 'last' shell script, just to shut down all the computers for a day.
    -MethodMan-

    Your Move:Life is a game, Play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

    Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/andy_moog/home.html

  9. #9
    Unleashed
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    > I despice Computer-related jokes
    The correct spelling is despise, and I find them pretty funny.

    Code:
    #include <AllTheGoodies.h>
    
    int main ( void )
    {
    	WakeUp();
    	Goto Work;
    
    	Work:
    	LookBusy();
    	ComeHome();
    	EnjoyHobbies();
    	Goto Bed;
    
    	Bed:
    	Sleep(8 hours);
    	return 0;
    }
    
    int WakeUp ( void )
    {
    	int Counter;
    	AlarmClockActivate();
    	if ( AlarmClockRing > 5 minutes )
    	{
    		GetBigHammer();
    	}
    	if ( SmellOfBody == "STINKY" )
    	{
    		for ( Counter = 0; Counter < 3; Counter ++ )
    		{
    			Shower();
    		}
    		AdmireSelfInMirror();
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    
    int LookBusy ( void )
    {
    	if ( WorkToDo == TRUE )
    	{
    		Goto CoffeeMachine;
    		CoffeeMachine:
    		if ( BossNotLooking() == TRUE )
    		{
    			SpikeBeverage();
    		}
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    
    int ComeHome ( void )
    {
    	TravelOnBackRoads();
    	if ( NoCops == TRUE )
    	{
    		SpeedLikeCrazy();
    		if ( Speedometer < 100mph )
    		{
    			TravelAt110mph();
    		}
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    
    int EnjoyHobbies ( void )
    {
    	TelevisionActivate();
    	if ( SpiceChannel || PornChannel == TRUE )
    	{
    		WatchClosely();
    	}
    	return 0;
    }
    The world is waiting. I must leave you now.

  10. #10
    _B-L-U-E_ Betazep's Avatar
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    One day I was in a public park, reading "C++ For Dummies" when someone came up and asked me what I was reading. I told him I was reading a book about C++. He responded, "Oh, HTML kicks C++'s @$$."
    I find it funnier that the guy was reading C++ for Dummies and making fun of the other idiot.
    Blue

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by Betazep
    I find it funnier that the guy was reading C++ for Dummies and making fun of the other idiot.
    That's the only thing related to this thread that made me laugh!

    I also think that the best at programming, in a group of "programmers" - for example this board - has the right to joke with code.
    Last edited by Zewu; 10-24-2002 at 02:27 PM.

  12. #12
    RoD
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    Redundantly Redundant RoD's Avatar
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    www.techtales.com

    thats pretty funny sometimes.

  13. #13
    Satan valar_king's Avatar
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    I kinda love/hate those. I find some of them INCREDIBLY hilarious, but sometimes I want to smack some of those people around, particularly the ones who spew out BS and then argue with you and act like they're computer experts.

    Also, there's nothing wrong with C++ for Dummies, or any of the other Dummies books, they provide excellent introductions to subjects.
    -Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

  14. #14
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    This made me laugh SO hard:

    I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.


    Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
    Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
    Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
    Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
    Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
    Pause.

    Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
    Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
    Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
    Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
    Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
    Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
    Customer: "Oh."
    Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
    Customer: "Why?"
    Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
    Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
    Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
    Customer: "Ok."
    I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.


    Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
    Customer: "Yes."
    Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."
    Pause.


    Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."

  15. #15
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    > This one right here is a regular mistake by my friend in programming class...

    What, writing in Pascal?

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