Just can't do it

This is a discussion on Just can't do it within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Okay, here's the story. I see this girl everyday (I don't even know her name). The thing is, I really ...

  1. #1
    the Corvetter
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    Just can't do it

    Okay, here's the story. I see this girl everyday (I don't even know her name). The thing is, I really like her. So, the night before I always say to myself, "Garfield, you gotta do this tomorrow". And then I would think of what to say. Come the next day, I would walk right past her because I'm so scared and I just can't do it. I get so mad at myself. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I do "get" girls. I just don't have a good feeling about this. I think she'd say no. But, what have I got to lose?

    I may never get her, but I know that I can always count on my programming buddies.

    --(lonely) Garfield
    1978 Silver Anniversary Corvette

  2. #2
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    The best approach is to be casual. Try to get to know her a bit (getting her name for a start would help ). But just keep things light, and then just take it from there. Don't rush in. If you have a bad feeling about it, don't worry, cause we all get nervous. Hey and even if things don't work out the way you want them to, you got another friend which is always good .
    Ramble on...

  3. #3
    the Corvetter
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    Aw, thanks man. That helps. It really does. I just want it to work out. I've been lonely for awhile and I need a girl. I'll definately try your advice. Thanks.

    --Garfield
    1978 Silver Anniversary Corvette

  4. #4
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    That advice comes with a 1 min warranty, lol.
    Ramble on...

  5. #5
    .
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    >I've been lonely for awhile and I need a girl.
    Diddo here...


    I hate not seeing my friends as much, they are what accoranged me to ask the girls I like out. All of them say no though, excpet one who just throuh the note I gave her on the floor. I wish I had more of a life. I wish I could get a life. My life is nothingness.
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

  6. #6
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    Joe MotivationalSpeaker!

    Your young, your free. Enjoy it as much as you can! Get out there, really push yourself to do something worthwhile with your life.
    Ramble on...

  7. #7
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    What grade're you in (my advice sorat depends on that...but I'll give you some general stuff)

    first you just have to ask casual, as was stated. Does she ever seem to make eyes at you? Do you know one of her friends? how often do you see her and in what context? Must know these things

  8. #8
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    I think Garfield will do fine. Hey anything is worth a shot isn't it?
    Ramble on...

  9. #9
    the Corvetter
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    Okay, KEN, here goes. I see her about 3 times a day and 4 if I go out of my way to see her (which usually happens). I actually did make eye contact with her and it seemed to last forever. Well, at least that's how long I wanted it to last. Those beautiful blue eyes and...oh, what was I saying? I do know one of her friends, but she is not a great ::sarcastically:: friend.

    Well, I actually had a couple of ideas in my head. Instead of acting casually and "easing" into it, I was thinking about getting to the point and be charming. Like really overdo it. Something like, "Your eyes are beautiful gems, and you hair is that of a goddess". Well, something along those lines. But with that idea, she could just totally laugh me out of the world and, well, make a fool out of me. So, that one is a little more risky.

    Oh, I see her in the halls when she's at her locker. Not a real long time, but enough to say something.

    Thanks guys...

    --Garfield
    1978 Silver Anniversary Corvette

  10. #10
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    Don't rush! Slow down take it easy, let things take their course. However, don't just sit back, otherwise you'll never have a chance.
    Ramble on...

  11. #11
    Registered User Cruxus's Avatar
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    No matter how you phrase it, you know she's going to say no; so don't even bother. Why are you making eye contact with her without even talking to her? She probably thinks you're some kind of weirdo. Don't get poetic on her the same day you introduce yourself to her! She will just think you're overly desperate and possibly a bit psychotic, and that's never a good start. Since you go out of your way to just casually pass her by and look at her, she probably thinks you're some kind of stalker.

    In all seriousness, forget what I just said above and listen to what the others have been saying. Learn her name and just talk to her. Eventually, you can move your relation from mere acquantinces to something more than friendship--just don't try to do it all in one day. Also, don't give this girl the impression that your interests are solely the traditional "nerdy" hobbies.

  12. #12
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    don't do that!!

    There was this guy that liked my friend julie, and she didn't even really know him, and he started telling her stuff like "your eyes are beautiful gems..You are the air I breathe...I am completely in love with you, Julianne" and it freaked her out so badly, she thought he was stalking her...Don't do anything stupid like that. just don't! Get to know her! It always works out for me if I do it this way:

    let's say you're sitting next to her at an assembly, or you're standing next to her and listening to someone talk ad they say something you can twist into a joke - tell it to her. you don't even have to look at her, just casually say it, and look at her for a reaction...then start making more jokes and talking to her, introduce yourself and talk to her more. the next day be sure to say hi to her, and if she's the hugging type, get a hug. Sooner or later ask her if she has a e-mail address or a screen name, then one day while talking to her ask her if she wants to go to the movies sometime...if she says yes, then get her number and I think you can handle it from there

    if the above fails, try going out with friends that know her while she's there...that always works.

  13. #13
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    Okay, Garfield, I have been in the EXACT same situation you are in right now.

    Over time I have come to learn a lesson...I will tell you that lesson in two short words at the end of this post.

    Anyways, last year I used to like this cheerleader, Katherine. She was, like many of you would think about your crushes/girl friends/wives, the most beautiful, lovely, cute, hot, drop dead gorgeous girl in the world. Yet I could not go up to her and talk to her. I saw her all the freakin time, but I could not go up and talk to her.

    I had first come to know she even existed the year before that year, when I was walking in the cafeteria and she stopped me and asked me to put up a sign for her. I was like..."sure!"...I mean...she was freakin hot.

    So anyways, for months I could not talk to her. I saw her all the time. I did some of the stupidest things you could ever think of. As I was leaving school one day, I went out the back hall from the choir room, past the cheerleader room, opened the door to the athletics hallway and hit her with the door....ouch...that hurt.

    I hit one of her friends with a door several weeks later, that wasnt good. She knew I liked her too, that made it even worse...because when a girl knows you like her, and you dont ever talk to her, she thinks you are stalking her.

    Finally, on Valentines Day of this year, I was like, "Freak...I gotta talk to her." So I called up my friend Robert, he drove me to a flower shop and we got some roses, and he drove me to her house (since I couldnt drive yet). The entire way to her house, I was like, "why the heck did i ever decide to do this? its actually happening..." then a song came on the radio, it went like this, i am sure some of you know it, "What you gonna do when you cant say no, and you better start the show, and you really need to know...how you gonna act...how you gonna handle that..." Then my friend was like, "yeah...what ARE you going to do...because you ARE doing this" he basically forced me to.

    So we arrived at her house. Went up to the door. She came out (she saw us drive up). Started talking to her. Went perfectly. Gave her the roses. Went awesome. That day was the best day of my life. The next day at school I was like so incredibly happy...You just have to get over it. Just do it. Dont look back. Its high school. Just go and do it.

    So here is my advice in two words to you: Don't Care.

    Dont care. its that simple. It is high school. There is an 80% she knows you like her. Trust me. Girls know these things, ESPECIALLY if you have made eye contact. Talk to her. Become friends with her. Finally, ask her out. If she says no, shrug it off. It is high school. It wont haunt you the rest of your life if she says no. Yet it could haunt you the rest of your life if you never do anything.

    Years ago I used to be incredibly shy when it came to girls. Now I just dont care. When I like a girl I make it incredibly obvious, and things tend to work out better that way. Just this past summer I sang a song to a girl I like (since I am in choir and like to sing)...it worked out perfectly...I was nervous (FREAKING nervous), but I did it.

    So thats my advice: Don't Care.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  14. #14
    Registered User EvenFlow's Avatar
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    ::wipes tears from eyes, blows nose::

    Somebody give that man an Oscar!
    Ramble on...

  15. #15
    Red Panda basilisk's Avatar
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    this is a really sweet thread...

    okay here is my advice from the other side of the fence.

    Yep this girl probably does know that you already like her. Take it from me it is always obvious who likes you - if you dont do anything about it then she will probably think something is wrong with you (i always used to when it happened to me). Further, when you do talk to her she will probably be flattered that you are interested.

    Dont use the flowery language or yes she will think that you are a bit weird - just invite her for a coffee (dont invite her to a movie - you cant talk to each other and get to know a person at a movie and you end up just sitting there in the darkness wondering if the other person does actually like you etc etc) - coffee where you can talk is good. Also coffee is very middle ground and it gives you the chance to get to know each other as friends first.

    If it doesnt work out then you have another friend and at the end of the day good friends are more important in the long run
    Do not meddle in the ways of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup

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