The Davidian Laws of Girls

This is a discussion on The Davidian Laws of Girls within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; About 4 years ago, I was extremely bored in Algebra class. Well, as you all know what happens when you ...

  1. #1
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    Lightbulb The Davidian Laws of Girls

    About 4 years ago, I was extremely bored in Algebra class. Well, as you all know what happens when you get bored, I started wandering off into la-la land.

    Only this time hanging around in la-la land brought me one of the most amazing discoveries in human history.

    I call the things which I discovered that day, the Davidian Laws of Girls.

    Now dont take me wrong, these are not simple "do this" and "dont do this". These are mathematical equations that are guaranteed to tell you whether a girl is good looking or not (excluding facial features). Notice I did not mention anything about personality. The Davidian Laws only apply to external features, as internal features are much more your own opinion and cannot be figured out mathematically.

    So anyways, with no further adieu, I give you the Davidian Laws of Girls:

    Equation #1:

    H = 2s + h - w

    In this equation, "H" is the total hotness of the girl. "s" is the "slope" of the girl, "h" is her height (measured in feet), and "w" is her width (measured in feet).

    Equation #2:

    H = s1 + s2 + h - w

    In this equation, there are two different "slope" variables, rather than just one. "s1" is the upper slope, and "s2" is the lower slope. Both equations work just the same.

    In equation 1, "s" is the overall slope, while in equation 2, the upper slope and lower slope are seperated into 2 variables.

    Now, there is something you must know before you go off and start doing your calculations.

    Here is how you find slope:

    0 = flat
    1 = small
    2 = pretty good
    3 = oh my gosh thats perfect
    2 = a bit too big
    1 = too big
    0 = oh my gosh thats enormous

    Notice the scale is from 0 to 3, and then from 3 to 0 going back down again.

    Now that you have the scale for determining slope, lets do a couple test examples. I will use equation 1 for all examples:

    Girl A:

    height = 5 ft. 6 in.
    width = 1 ft.
    slope = 2.5

    H = 2 ( 2.5 ) + 5.5 - 1
    H = 5 + 5.5 - 1
    H = 10.5 - 1
    H = 9.5

    That girl has a hotness rating of 9.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.

    Girl B:

    height = 5 ft. 4 in.
    width = 2 ft.
    slope = 0

    H = 2 ( 0 ) + 5.333 - 2
    H = 0 + 5.333 - 2
    H = 5.333 - 2
    H = 3.3

    The hotness rating for that girl is 3.3.

    Finally:

    Girl C:

    height = 5 ft. 4 in.
    width = 1 ft.
    slope = 1.5

    H = 2 ( 1.5 ) + 5.333 - 1
    H = 3 + 5.333 - 1
    H = 8.333 - 1
    H = 7.333

    So the hotness rating of that girl is a 7.333.

    Well, that is the whole synopsis of my Davidian Laws of Girls equations. Now next time you pass a girl, think of my equation, implement it, and find out her rating on a scale of 1 to 10.

    Try it, it works.

    (The Davidian Laws of Girls are patented by me. So dont try and steal them! *looks around inspecting everybody...looking for people who want to steal David's precious discoveries* My discoveries! Mine!)
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  2. #2
    Green Member Cshot's Avatar
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    LOL!

    So err let's see:

    height = 7 feet
    width = 6 inches
    slope = 2

    hotness = 4 + 7 - 0.5 = 10.5 out of 10!

    So this barbershop pole would get 10.5 eh?

    Okay, how bout for supermodels:
    height = 6 feet
    width = 1 feet
    slope = 3

    hotness = 6 + 6 - 1 = 11 out of 10??

    EDIT - btw, some girls have incredible bodies but are ugly as hell
    Try not.
    Do or do not.
    There is no try.

    - Master Yoda

  3. #3
    Lead Moderator kermi3's Avatar
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    Wow that makes everything so clear....

    However I would change the equations slightly to:

    H = s1 + s2 + h - w + .25


    because first of all girls start off in the positive because they are girls, and secondly:

    h= 6' 6"
    s = 2.5
    w = 1

    as a 10? That's just too thin for me thank you. Little bit wider in that case would be ok....
    Kermi3

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  4. #4
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    ah yes i forgot to mention that some extremely hot girls might go a little off of the scale

    thats understandable, right?

    and the equation only works on girls, not on barbershop poles...hahahahaha
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  5. #5
    Green Member Cshot's Avatar
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    Here's a more accurate way to get a 1-10 rating. Post the pic on hotornot. Wait awhile, and you shall see the rating. Or just send me the pic and I will give the most accurate rating of all
    Try not.
    Do or do not.
    There is no try.

    - Master Yoda

  6. #6
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    hey hey hey now! dont try and circumvent my mathematical laws!
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  7. #7
    Microsoft. Who? MethodMan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Cshot

    EDIT - btw, some girls have incredible bodies but are ugly as hell
    I dont know if you have heard the term, but-her-face, everything is good, But her face
    -MethodMan-

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  8. #8
    Green Member Cshot's Avatar
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    Reminds me of a buddy of mine back in college. We would walk to class and he'd urge me to walk faster everytime he saw a hot chick. We'd get in front of the girl and he'd turn and look. He turns away saying he wish he hadn't seen that. I would always be like, why did you make me walk faster!
    Try not.
    Do or do not.
    There is no try.

    - Master Yoda

  9. #9
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    btw, some girls have incredible bodies but are ugly as hell
    -------------
    dont know if you have heard the term, but-her-face, everything is good, But her face
    Go back to my first post and read:

    These are mathematical equations that are guaranteed to tell you whether a girl is good looking or not (excluding facial features).
    Note the last 3 words in that quote.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  10. #10
    Green Member Cshot's Avatar
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    Actually there is a mathematical formula which determines a person's attractiveness. I forgot which article I read it from. But a person's attractiveness is due to the proportion of size and distance of certain features. They found that people with ratios close to the golden ratio have aesthetically pleasing looks. Looks like you weren't the only one whose thought about this
    Try not.
    Do or do not.
    There is no try.

    - Master Yoda

  11. #11
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    So you tuned out math for...more math?!

    At least when I tune out math, I pass out.

  12. #12
    Lead Moderator kermi3's Avatar
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    If certain proportions on the body are close to the "golden proportion" (1:1.68 i think)


    http://tlc.discovery.com/convergence...cles/mask.html
    Kermi3

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  13. #13
    Green Member Cshot's Avatar
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    With those ratios, no wonder you're not as pretty as me
    hehe, it's 1:1.618
    Try not.
    Do or do not.
    There is no try.

    - Master Yoda

  14. #14
    Ecologist
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    "Davidian?" Do you have a compound out there in Texas, too?
    Staying away from General.

  15. #15
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    >Looks like you weren't the only one whose thought about this

    No!!! Burn their findings! Sack their office buildings! Destroy their labs! Those scientific mathematical equations are mine! *goes mad*

    (Copyright DavidP 2002)
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

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