Excuses to drink.

This is a discussion on Excuses to drink. within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; These are pretty compelling reasons to drink, in fact I might just have to take a walk over to the ...

  1. #1
    Registered User C_Coder's Avatar
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    Excuses to drink.

    These are pretty compelling reasons to drink, in fact I might just have to take a walk over to the fridge right now.

    "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
    come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." --by Jack Handy
    > > >
    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Cause
    when they wake up in
    the morning, that's as good as they're going to
    feel all day. --Frank Sinatra
    > > >
    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. --Ernest Hemingway
    > > >
    A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields
    > > >
    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
    up reading. --Henny Youngman
    > > >
    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
    Coincidence? I think not!! --Stephen Wright
    > > >
    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to
    heaven! -- Brian O'Rourke
    > > >
    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --
    Benjamin Franklin
    > > >
    Without question, the greatest invention in the
    history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
    wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    --Dave Barry
    > > >
    Beer: "Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!!..."
    > > >
    Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    > > >
    To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group
    All spelling mistakes, syntatical errors and stupid comments are intentional.

  2. #2
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    >"It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
    come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

    say what?

    >I feel sorry for people who don't drink. Cause
    when they wake up in
    the morning, that's as good as they're going to
    feel all day.

    at least i do feel good all day...

    >An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

    why is that? sounds like the intelligent man is just antisocial and needs help finding friends...

    >A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

    hm....that man just doenst know how to say no to a girl...


    >When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
    up reading.

    why? reading is great? there are some awesome books out there...

    >24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
    Coincidence? I think not!!

    why start in the first place? just because there are 24 beers in the case doesnt mean it has to be drunken...

    >When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to
    heaven!

    too bad the drinking is the sin...

    >Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

    beer is proof that satan wants to cloud our minds and take away are agency to make us sin some more...

    >Without question, the greatest invention in the
    history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
    wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

    how could it go well with pizza? ive never tasted it before, but it smells horrible....i am perfectly happy with Sprite with my pizza...

    >Beer: "Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!!..."

    desperate people....not ugly people...i know many ugly people who dont need to drink...

    >Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

    how is that a reason to drink beer?

    >To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group

    if its a support group...then already your agency has been taken away....

    none of those are good reasons to drink.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  3. #3
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    The first one is supposed to be: "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about all the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver."

    C'mon, david - they're jokes... It's not like we need excuses to drink anyways

  4. #4
    Shadow12345
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    Beer is better than religion

    Top ten reasons why Beer is better than religion!

    10) No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
    9) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
    8) Beer has never caused a major war.
    7) They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves
    6) When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
    5) Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his or her brand of beer.
    4) You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer
    3) There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you
    2) You can prove you have a Beer.
    1) If you've devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.

  5. #5
    Registered User C_Coder's Avatar
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    Well said cheez, its just a bit of fun david. If you do feel you need an excuse to drink then i guess you have a problem.
    All spelling mistakes, syntatical errors and stupid comments are intentional.

  6. #6
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    /me goes to bar

    How can alcohol consumption be evil when the Bible talks about things like Jesus turning water into wine? (I know this thread's going bad places, now, but it had to be asked)

  7. #7
    Shadow12345
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    I wonder if Jesus was drunk when he created the Platypus.

  8. #8
    Linguistic Engineer... doubleanti's Avatar
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    my excuse not to is that, as you'd all contest to, my high is 24-7 no instigator... er, yes every once in a while i short circuit, but that's part of the fun fun fun!
    hasafraggin shizigishin oppashigger...

  9. #9
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    Oh Geez, davie - lighten up.

    Here's part of my sig at FD:

    >>
    There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

    Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
    <<

    >>drunkenness and excess are.

    Good thing I'm going for that deathbed repentance thing Kidding! Kidding!! ::stares nervously at sky:: Just kidding, Lord...

  10. #10
    moi
    moi is offline
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    i don't drink.
    hello, internet!

  11. #11
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    > i don't drink.

    I do. Thanks for sharing.

  12. #12
    Registered User fletch's Avatar
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    If you've got the cash, what beer do you buy?

    If you don't have the cash, what beer do you buy?


    If you're religious, I have one word for you: ABSOLUTION
    "Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence."
    Morris Kline

  13. #13
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    and if you drink, I have one word for you: ABSOLUT

    (what, you knew SOMEone would say it...)

  14. #14
    Shadow12345
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    I got so drunk a couple weeks ago...I didn't mean to really I didn't. I had .75 liter of whiskey and some smirnoff ice 101. I was so sick the next day, I barfed and missed work...and I'm young still. I think I could've died.
    Damn you people who force alcohol on us young people

    and when i say i didn't mean to, it was because I can't remember most of the night...
    Last edited by Shadow12345; 08-12-2002 at 08:51 PM.

  15. #15
    5|-|1+|-|34|) ober's Avatar
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    Originally posted by fletch
    If you're religious, I have one word for you: ABSOLUTION
    wake up... there is drinking all throughout the bible... drunkenness is bad... the consumption of alcohol in moderation is not.
    EntropySink. You know you have to click it.

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