OK, I know it's crap... but there ya go!
A fortyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks
"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says
"I don't care. I just came from the doctor and he says I have
the breasts of an 18-year-old."
The husband said,
"What did he say about your 41-year-old arse?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.
All the organs of the body were
having a meeting, trying to decide
who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge, "said the brain,
"because I run all the body's systems, so
without me nothing would happen".
I should be in charge," said the blood,
"because I circulate oxygen all over, so
without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge, " said the stomach,
"because I process food and give all of
"I should be in charge," said the legs,
" because I carry the body wherever it
needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
" because I allow the body to see where
"I should be in charge, "said the rectum,
"because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the
rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he
shut down tight.
Within a few days,
the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
Arse holes are usually in charge.