dumb beckham joke for stevey

This is a discussion on dumb beckham joke for stevey within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; I know your a BIG Man U fan stevey so I thought maybe we could have a dumb Beckham thread ...

  1. #1
    Registered User C_Coder's Avatar
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    Talking dumb beckham joke for stevey

    I know your a BIG Man U fan stevey so I thought maybe we could have a dumb Beckham thread
    Alex Ferguson is appearing on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, He gets all the way to the final question:
    For 1 million pounds which creature lives in a set
    (A) A Fox (B) A cuckoo
    (C) A Badger (D) A Rabbit

    "Well" says Alex "I'm not sure"
    "You have 2 lifelines, 50/50 and phone a friend" says tarrant
    "Errr 50/50 please"says Alex

    (B) A Cuckoo
    (C) A Badger

    "Mmmm I'm still not sure, I'll have to phone a friend" says Alex
    "Ok" says Tarrant "Which friend?"
    "David Beckham" says Alex

    *phone rings*

    "Hello"
    "Hello, this is Chris from who wants to be a millionaire, is that David?" says Tarrant
    "Yes" says David
    "Good, the next voice you hear will be Alex's" says Tarrant

    Alex tells David the question and gives him the two possible answers

    "It's a badger" says David
    "Are you 100% sure David?" says Alex
    "Yes" says David "It's definatley a badger"

    So Alex answers the question with badger and wins a million pounds.

    The next day at training Alex thanks David for helping him win

    "Thanks David I couldn't have done it without you" says Alex
    "No problem boss" says David
    "To be honest" says Alex "I'm surprised you knew that a badger lives in a set"
    "Well actually I didn't" says David "But I know that cuckoo's live in clocks"
    Still I hope he scores few a goals over the next few weeks

    C'MON ENGLAND
    All spelling mistakes, syntatical errors and stupid comments are intentional.

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    u think u will win against sweden?

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    Registered User C_Coder's Avatar
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    >> u think u will win against sweden?

    Who are they???
    All spelling mistakes, syntatical errors and stupid comments are intentional.

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    hmm, anyway i home u will loose for two reasons

    1. i dont like english football
    2. your coach sven goran erikson is swedish

  5. #5
    The Earth is not flat. Clyde's Avatar
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    We bloody better beat Sweden.


    Damn you Giggs, why, WHY, I mean Wales, WALES!! Ugh.

  6. #6
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    that Beckham, he's just so fick !! I wonder if his missus does take it u.....I'd better shut up.

    i don't actually know any David Beckham jokes.....i'll have to ask my mates.

    Re Giggs, what a strange decision to play for Wales, i don't think he even was born there ?? and we have so few left footers too..what a waste. he'll never play in a world cup.

    Beckham, Scholes, Giggs, Gerrard.....that would have been a great midfield.....mmmmmm......pity.

    who doesn't like English football ??? the Premiership is the best in the world. best to watch for sure, and also becoming the best teams also. the french have 6 out of their (probable) first 11 playing here. so do the swedes. ireland have all their first 11 from the premiership.
    Steve

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    posh spice is a slapper
    she wears a wonder bra
    and when shes shagging Beckham
    she thinks of Ray Parlour

  8. #8
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    David Beckham is on top of the main stand at Old Trafford ready to jump
    off after a nightmare first half of the Premiership and World Cup
    campaign. He's lost the World Cup for England by getting himself sent
    off and everyone and his dog hates him, Posh spice has dumped him for
    Michael Owen and United have put him on the transfer market for ten quid
    because he's playing ****e.>
    As he's about to jump off Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder and
    asks "Are you OK David?".>
    David explains how his life is a mess and gets ready to jump! "STOP!"
    shouts father christmas "I'll grant you any three wishes on the
    understanding that you do me a favour".
    "That would be top!" says Beckham. "Cheers Father Christmas, thankyou,thankyou."
    >So Beckham lists his three wishes which are:
    1) In the Argentina match he didn't kick the argy but shoots from the
    freekick and scores. ENGLAND go on to win the World Cup and he is a
    National Hero.2) He marries posh spice and lives in happiness for evermore.
    3) He is made best footballer in the world by FIFA and his wages go up
    to a million a week>Father Christmas says OK all your wishes are granted.
    "Oh thank you thank you!!!" says Beckham " What do I have to do?" Father
    Christmas tells Beckham to drop his pants and bend over. After a brutal
    rogering , Father Christmas asks Beckham how old he is.
    "24" replies Beckham.
    "You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas!!" laughs the fat, gay
    Manchester City fan.
    Steve

  9. #9
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    BECKHAM GOES RIDING

    David Beckham decides to try horseback riding, even though he has had no lessons or prior experience.
    He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace as Posh stands back in admiration, but then he begins to slip from the saddle. In terror he grabs the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly unaware of its slipping rider.
    Finally, he gives up his frail grasp and he attempts to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup, he is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground over and over again.
    Posh stands there frantic, unable to do anything to help as his head is battered against the ground. He is mere moments away from unconsciousness, perhaps death, when to his great fortune.....
    The Sainsbury's security guard sees him, leans over, and unplugs the horse.
    Steve

  10. #10
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    what's the difference between graeme le sauxs' chin and ian bothams cricket bat ?
    graeme le sauxs' chin has hit more balls than ian bothams cricket bat. !!

    thats slightly off topic.....any chelsea fans ??
    Steve

  11. #11
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    David Beckham walks into a library and says, "I'll have a Big Mac and fries, please."

    The librarian replies, "Sir, this is a library."

    Beckham looks embarrassed and whispers, "I'll have a Big Mac and fries."

    David Beckham is doing a parachute jump for charity. It's his first jump, so he's extremely nervous. The instructor calmly explains to him that it's all very easy - the minute he jumps out of the plane, the parachute will open automatically. Failing that, there's a personal pullstring, and if that fails, there's the emergency pull-string, and then it's all plain sailing, easy landing, truck to pick you up and back to Old Trafford for a hot bath and dinner.

    David Beckham feels reassured. He jumps out. The automatic catch doesn't work. First pull, no luck. The second pull-string comes away in his hand. And David Beckham says:

    "Bet there's no truck waiting either."


    David Beckham walks into a sperm donor bank, "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
    "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
    "Yes" replies Beckham "you should have my details on your computer".
    "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call Posh Spice for you?"
    "Why do I need help to donate sperm?" asks Beckham.
    The receptionist replies "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
    Steve

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    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    I think Italy has a good chance!
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  13. #13
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    Pode is being very stupid here...

  14. #14
    It's full of stars adrianxw's Avatar
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    After a minor accident, Beckham went to hospital and was asked to remove his walkman, he refused. It was explained to him that he really needed to remove the walkman so he could be treated. Finally he agreed, removed the walkman, turned blue and died. Curious, the doctor picked up the walkman and listened to what Beckham had been hearing...

    "Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath..."
    Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity unto the dream.

  15. #15
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
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    like that, thats one i'd forgotten.

    nice result for France today !! mebe i'm not so worried about meeting them after all !!
    Steve

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