Bush Jokes

This is a discussion on Bush Jokes within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Pressing Questions A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: "Many say the only reason why you would ...

  1. #1
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
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    Bush Jokes

    Pressing Questions

    A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:

    "Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father."

    "That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!"
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  2. #2
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    Polar Bear Hunt

    George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Bush's mom, Barbara, are having a holiday at the north pole. George W. weights...well, we know how light he is. Cheney weights so much, and Miss Barabara, well, we won't mention a lady's weight. One day, the three of them are having a trip on a sleigh.

    Suddenly, they see a polar bear behind them. Quickly, they throw out all the luggage behind them, but this doesn't help: the bear comes closer. They realise that one of the three will have to sacrifice himself or herself so that the two others will be able to escape. "You should do it", George W. says to Cheney, "The bear will need more time to eat you then to eat me. We can't expect Mama, here, to fight the bear." "I guess you're right", Cheney says. As he jumps out of the sleigh, he shouts, "For the G-O-P!", and gets killed by the bear.

    "Thank God for my brains", George W. says, smirks. But, the bear reopens the chase.

    "Now it's your time, mama", George W. says. "Your weight is bigger than mine and a good mom sacrifices herself for her childern."

    "George!" mom says.

    George W. stands his ground, rather stares back, cooly, and very hard. "I guess you're right", she says, and she also jumps out and gets killed.

    "Thank God for my brains", George W. giggles.

    But still the bear won't stop hunting the sleigh. George W. really gets mad, and he shouts out : "You stupid animal!! Just wait a minute!! I'll take my gun and I'll blow you to pieces!!"
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  3. #3
    Nerd Xmevs's Avatar
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    10 signs Bush is better than Clinton

    10. Bush: Loves to square dance. Clinton: Just a square.

    9. Bush actually smokes the cigars.

    8. The neighbors haven't complained about the loud parties on the weekends.

    7. No more McDonald's wrappers, now it's just pork rinds.

    6. He holds the White House Record for all three levels of Minesweeper.

    5. Pretzel jokes are more appropiate for children.

    4. So far he hasn't been impeached!

    3. "Rooms For Rent" sign removed from front of White House.

    2. White House "Texas Ho-Downs" beat the White House "Arkansas Possum Hunt" hands down.

    1. Knows what 'is' means, but frequently mispronounces it.

    (Find more top-ten lists at http://prog.proboards4.com/)

  4. #4
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
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    go to this link to find out something amazing...

    CLick here
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  5. #5
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
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    also try this... it is the next part to my previous post.

    Click Here
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

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    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    to the mod :: this post should not be deleted because this thread is not any offence to someone because bush doesn't visit this board
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  7. #7
    Nerd Xmevs's Avatar
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    lol

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    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    u want bush, u got bush! only, in this, he is a female model ::: Click here to be disgusted
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  9. #9
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    http://www.linkydinky.com/images/bushpope.jpg
    The Pope isn't quite sure how to respond when President Bush starts reading his prepared remarks about what he'd like for Christmas.
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  10. #10
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    Outside America, many people see Bush as a dumb person. Someone who only knows about America, other countries are strange to him.

    What's the opinion of Bush of American people?

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    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
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    35 Fun Things to do When Driving

    1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
    2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
    3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
    4. Two words: Chicken suit.
    5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint.
    The more it looks like blood, the better.
    6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview
    mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
    7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
    8. Stop at the green lights.
    9. Go at the red ones.
    10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out
    your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
    11. Eat food that requires silverware.
    12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put
    sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
    13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously.
    With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
    14. Honk frequently without motivation.
    15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended
    and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
    16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
    17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
    18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
    19. Restart your car at every stop light.
    20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk
    to them, stroking them lovingly.
    21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their
    butts out the window.
    22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
    23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
    24. If an firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the
    roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
    25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
    26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger
    seat, when driving alone.
    27. Stop and collect roadkill.
    28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
    29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.)
    30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
    31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to...
    a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
    32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
    33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're
    in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at
    your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
    34. Sing without having the radio on.
    35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you,
    then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  12. #12
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    these r just jokes man!!! by the way american ppl r ok...i'm not sure bout bush though
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  13. #13
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
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    lets keep the sub on bush

    so,Here's one
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  14. #14
    ¡Amo fútbol!
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    In my opinion, an idiot (mental capacity of a 3 year old). He isn't even intelligent enough to be a moron (mental capacity of 12 year old).

  15. #15
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
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    jet_master's driving post deserves its own thread... man, that is hilarious!

    do you have any Grey Poupon?

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