Bush Jokes

This is a discussion on Bush Jokes within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Our country is led by Dick and Bush....

  1. #31
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Our country is led by Dick and Bush.

  2. #32
    bobish
    Guest
    Originally posted by ygfperson

    on the other hand, he has handled the terrorist attacks great
    I've heared that his actions were based off a procedure writen by Clinton or something like that.

    oh and fyodor actuall Drilling can be more environmental hazardous then you might think. First by drilling oil rises to the surface as a result of drilling and the just presance of oil is very disruptive to local wildlife. Also arctic wild life is more fragle then other wild life and even if the actuall drilling site aren't that disruptive, the oil pipelines are. And why would people complain about the drilling if it wasn't a problem, is it just a plot to disrupt the economy or something. At anyrate, if people would stop driving their damn SUVs then there would be no need to drill there.

    Ive also heard that Cheney is associated with the oil companies.

  3. #33
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    No matter how small the size of the drilling site is, but it will have a enormous effect on the artic life....scientists have said this a lot of times, but the drilling companies has denied the whole thing saying that the scientists are worng. so in other words, they are saying that the scientists like David Suzuki are idiots and they don't know what they are talking about.
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  4. #34
    train spotter
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    near a computer
    Posts
    3,856
    >>Ive also heard that Cheney is associated with the oil companies.

    His family company sells oil drilling rigs.

    He sold US$milions to Iraq, which is good business as the US blew the original ones up, and now he can then order these ones blown up and sell them some more.
    "Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter."
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    "I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars......the rest I squandered."
    George Best

    "If you are going through hell....keep going."
    Winston Churchill

  5. #35
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    On Air Force One


    Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at
    Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill
    out the window right now and make one person very happy."

    Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten
    $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

    Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course,
    then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and
    make a hundred people very happy."

    Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could
    throw all of you out the window and make the whole country
    happy."
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  6. #36
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    291
    yo. nice one, but ive heard one like this before...
    <no offense meant. PLEASE dont take it personally. not intended to offend anyone. any similarity of characters in this joke with people in real life is completely co-incidential.>

    three people going on a small boat. an american, a japanese and a chinese.
    suddenly the japanese man throws out a microchip and saying,"we have lots of micro-processors in japan. 1 more or 1 less makes no difference."
    the american throws out a cell-phone and saying,"we have lots of cell phones in the US of A. 1 more or 1 less makes no difference."
    the chinese man thinks for a while, then throws out both the american and the japanese men and says,"we have lots of men in China. a couple more or less makes no difference."
    lol
    Last edited by Jet_Master; 05-25-2002 at 06:50 PM.
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  7. #37
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    291
    another bush joke... read this:

    one day, bush decided to travel on a normal passenger plane. about an after the flight was took off, the co-pilot came out into the passenger section and announced,"this plane is too heavy. someone has to jump. but we have no parachutes... who will volunteer?"

    an italian guy gets up. he says,"i will sacrifice my self for saving other people's life. i will be famous. my name will appear in all newspapers... Italy is great!" and he jumps.

    the co-pilot goes in and comes back a few minutes later and says,"the plane is still too heavy. one more has to jump."

    a German guy gets up. he says,"i will sacrifice my self for saving other people's life. i will be famous. my name will appear in all newspapers... Germany is great!" and he jumps.

    the co-pilot goes in and comes back a few minutes later and says,"the plane is still too heavy. one more has to jump."

    a Canadian guy gets up. he says,"i will sacrifice my self for saving other people's life. i will be famous. my name will appear in all newspapers... Canada is great!" and he jumps.

    the co-pilot goes in and comes back a few minutes later and says,"the plane is still too heavy. one last person has to jump."

    now everybody looks at bush. "you are the american president, you do something," they said.

    bush looks around nervously...thinks for a while. then he picks up the guy sitting beside him. he says,"i will sacrifice him for saving other people's life. i will be famous. my name will appear in all newspapers... USA is great!"and he throws him off the plane


    lol
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

  8. #38
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    President George W. Bush was getting angry about the public opinion of his ability to govern, so he arranged a press conference to let the American public know what was on his mind.
    He started strongly, "The American People must know that I am wholly fit, capable, and prepared to serve this nation as commander-in-chief. And I say to those people who believe I don't have a mind of my own..." Bush said and froze. He looked over at Cheney and whispered, "Dick, what do I say to them again...?"

    -------------------------------------------
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  9. #39
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me."
    Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."

    Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home," said Cheney.

    Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."

    The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"

    Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  10. #40
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    759
    "Earlier this week, Stevie Wonder performed at a concert in Washington. While he was onstage performing, President Bush wanted to get his attention, so he started waving to him from the audience. Afterwards the president said, 'I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was Stevie Wonder. I thought it was Ray Charles'"
    Steve

  11. #41
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    759
    "The last week, George W. Bush, our president, has been in South America. He finished up today with a stop in El Salvador. George Bush was proud to point out that El Salvador means The Salvador."

    "Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon arrived in Washington Sunday night to give President Bush a 91-page book proving that Yasser Arafat funded terrorists. White House sources say that President Bush has the book and is almost done coloring it."

    "The White House admitted that President Bush was warned last summer about possible terrorist hijackings. Now Democrats are criticizing him for not seeing the 9/11 attacks coming. You think that is fair? Come on, he was attacked by a pretzel, he didn't see that coming!" óJay Leno
    Steve

  12. #42
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen, when a man approaches him. "Excuse me, Mr. Bush, but my name is John Tapay, and I'm here with an extremely important client. We're going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, 'Hello, John'."
    Bush readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.

    Bush waves and says, "Hello, John!"

    The man replies, "Buzz off, Bush! I'm in a meeting," and keeps walking.



    ------------------------------------------------------


    There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy, Johnny. The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a bush fan." The teacher says, "Why aren't you a bush fan?" Johnny says, "I'm an Al Gore fan"
    The teacher asks why he's an Al Gore fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's an Al Gore fan and my dad's an Al Gore fan, so I'm an Al Gore fan!" The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're mom was a moron and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan."

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Bush Has a Short One

    Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Madonna does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it?
    A last name.
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  13. #43
    Registered User Commander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Posts
    804
    Bush Has Feelings Too

    George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me."
    Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."

    Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home," said Cheney.

    Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."

    The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"

    Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
    oh i'm sorry! i didn;t realize my fist was rushing to meet ur face!

    MSN :: commander_android@hotmail.com []*[]

  14. #44
    My diaper's full....... stevey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    759
    thats a good joke, but you don't need to post it twice, i got it the first time around !!
    Steve

  15. #45
    Registered User Jet_Master's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    291
    hey... i have heard that joke some where before...
    lemme try to remember...

    mean while, let me tell you a bush joke that i read today....

    George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about me."
    Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I mean."

    Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M street to see if I'm home," said Cheney.

    Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell, came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we started, please."

    The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"

    Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you could have called instead!
    I am the Alpha and the Omega!!!

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Popular pages Recent additions subscribe to a feed

Similar Threads

  1. Bush vs. Kerry
    By jlou in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 178
    Last Post: 11-29-2004, 02:45 PM
  2. (AIDS) Bush May Have Done Something Right
    By Unregd in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 05-04-2003, 10:35 PM
  3. If Bush visited Berlin...
    By Waldo2k2 in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-06-2003, 09:01 PM
  4. Post your jokes here!
    By fuh in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 01-14-2003, 06:45 PM
  5. Clean Jokes
    By stevey in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 04-27-2002, 07:13 PM

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21