I have figured out the differences between 95 and XP...

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  1. #1
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
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    Wink I have figured out the differences between 95 and XP...

    Well...after long hard work and deliberation...I have figured out the differences between 95 and XP:

    Code:
    //Windows 95
    int main (void)
    {
       BootUp();
       FlashCopyrightSigns();
       Crash();
    }
    Code:
    //Windows XP
    int main (void)
    {
       BootUp();
       RunFineForSixMonths();
       CrashQuadratically ( );
       DoThatForAFewMonths();
       CrashTotally();
    }
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  2. #2
    Super Moderator
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    So the only real difference was the length of time you had to pay through the nose for Tech Support?

  3. #3
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    That's kinda funny - sorta like Dean's Linux-Windows switch...

    DavidP several months ago
    "Win XP is great! There's no problems at all!"

    DavidP about a month ago
    "I'm having a few problems with XP, but it's okay"

    DavidP now
    "hazafraggin...."


  4. #4
    Bobish
    Guest
    I've heard the samething about morpheus, works fine for six months and then crashes.

  5. #5
    left crog... back when? incognito's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Govtcheez
    That's kinda funny - sorta like Dean's Linux-Windows switch...

    DavidP several months ago
    "Win XP is great! There's no problems at all!"

    DavidP about a month ago
    "I'm having a few problems with XP, but it's okay"

    DavidP now
    "hazafraggin...."


    Well ME did something similar to me, but then again it WAS ME, XP I've been using for.........don't know about 2 or 3 months now, and it's working like a charm.
    There are some real morons in this world please do not become one of them, do not become a victim of moronitis. PROGRAMMING IS THE FUTURE...THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!!!!!!!

    "...The only real game I thank in the world is baseball..." --Babe Ruth

    "Life is beautiful"-Don Corleone right before he died.

    "The expert on anything was once a beginner" -Baseball poster I own.


    Left cprog on 1-3-2005. Don't know when I am coming back. Thanks to those who helped me over the years.

  6. #6
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    A long time ago I wrote this and posted it...

    Code:
    #include "XP.h"
    #include "WinNT.h"
    
    void WaitCrashThread(void);
    
    int main(void)
    {
    	//bootup
    	Randomize(ERROR_MSGS); //WinXP does this at BOOT! Neat!
    	UseMem("75%"); //improvement!
    	Boot(WinNT->XPShell);
    	DumbDown(WIN_NT);
    	LockOut(USER_CMDS); //only during boot though, right?
    	if(SystemSweep(PhysicalDrive, "erroneous") == 1) //oopsie!
    	{
    		SysBeep(1);
    		printf("possible error found on drive %s - reformatting.\n",PhysicalDrive);
    		Format(PhysicalDrive);
    		if(USER_FRANTICALLY_BASHING_KEYS)
    			StallSystem(50);
    		printf("There we go, all clean");
    		Reboot();
    	}
    	else //continue loading XP
    	{
    		Release(USER_CMDS);
    		Load(PrettySkin, BUTCHER_COMPRESS);
    		if(!UserLogin())
    		{
    			LockOut(USER_CMDS); //shouldn't ........ed XP off!
    			printf("Bad Boy!\n");
    			while(1)
    			{	
    				Reboot();
    				Crash();
    			}
    		}
    		Play(Load(AnnoyingStartupMIDI), MAX_VOLUME);
    		LockOut(COMPETITOR_APPS); //including ZoneAlaram! Take that!
    		if(SystemSweep(ALL_DRIVES, "competitor) == 1) {_unlink(Found);}
    		Load(WIN_NT::XP_CORE) //slipped in a SMALL touch of C++
    	} //Great, done booting up!
    	Start(ALL_APPS);
    	Start(UNWANTED_APPS);
    	Annoy();
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	Annoy();
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	if(!Register)
    		KillComputer(TOTAL, FRY_RAM, MELT_CPU);
    	Display(COPYRIGHT);
    	if(Closed(ANY_APP)
    		Restart_App();
    	Call(WaitCrashThread());
    	return 666;
    }
    
    void WaitCrashThread(void)
    {
    	Wait(30); //one month
    	Crash();
    	LockOutEx(USER_CMDS, FORCE_REINSTALL);
    }

  7. #7
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    Know what the scary thing is? I wrote that before I even had XP, and a few of those things would appear to be correct...

    Code:
    	if(SystemSweep(PhysicalDrive, "erroneous") == 1) //oopsie!
    	{
    		SysBeep(1);
    		printf("possible error found on drive %s - reformatting.\n",PhysicalDrive);
    		Format(PhysicalDrive);
    		if(USER_FRANTICALLY_BASHING_KEYS)
    			StallSystem(50);
    		printf("There we go, all clean");
    		Reboot();
    	}
    that's practically correct (damn do I hate rebooting incorrectly, cuz that's whn XP does this)

    >>Play(Load(AnnoyingStartupMIDI), MAX_VOLUME);

    Damn is that music ever loud!
    >>LockOut(COMPETITOR_APPS); //including ZoneAlaram! Take that!

    Sure does!

    >>Load(WIN_NT::XP_CORE) //slipped in a SMALL touch of C++

    Boy howdy!

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