From a man to a woman

This is a discussion on From a man to a woman within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; guys I could not resist A message from a man to a woman: Learn to work the toilet seat. You're ...

  1. #1
    Registered User whistlenm1's Avatar
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    From a man to a woman

    guys I could not resist

    A message from a man to a woman:

    Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
    up, put it down. Peeing standing up is difficult ,sometimes we will
    miss
    Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
    Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are
    prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation
    and
    Basketball Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
    changing of
    the tides. Let it be.
    Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it
    that way.
    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really.
    Crying is blackmail.
    Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
    hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not
    work. Just say it!
    We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
    calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
    Most guys own four pairs of shoes, tops. What makes you
    think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty,
    would look good with your dress?
    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    question.
    Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    Check your oil. Please!
    Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
    If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
    expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
    the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
    it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
    it yourself.
    Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.
    Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
    The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
    months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
    girl-friends.
    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a
    fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
    mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
    the hassle.
    Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you
    I'm in shape.-ROUND is a shape!

    Thank you for reading this, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
    tonight, but did you know we really don't mind, it's like
    camping

    by Anonymous

    Man's mind once streched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions
    - Oliver Wendell Holmes

    In other words, if you teach your cat to bark (output) and eat dog food (input) that doesn't make him a dog. It would have to chase cars, chew bones, and have puppies before I'd call it Rover ;-)
    - WaltP

  2. #2
    the hat of redundancy hat nvoigt's Avatar
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    Why did Moses spend 40 years wandering in the desert ?
    He refused to ask for directions

    It's obvious that women are smarter than man. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog.

    How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper ?
    It's unknown. It never happened
    hth
    -nv

    She was so Blonde, she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."

    When in doubt, read the FAQ.
    Then ask a smart question.

  3. #3
    5|-|1+|-|34|) ober's Avatar
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    i love being male simply for the above reasons

  4. #4
    Registered User
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    "I hear that if you play the Windows ME CD backwards, you get a satanic message"
    "That's nothing. If you play it forward, it installs Windows ME !"
    LOL best sig ever (at least within the last 7 days which count).
    Allegro precompiled Installer for Dev-C++, MSVC, and Borland: http://galileo.spaceports.com/~springs/

  5. #5
    _B-L-U-E_ Betazep's Avatar
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    >>>It's obvious that women are smarter than man. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog.

    Well see this one doesn't really work since it is saying that women prefer an inanimate shiny rock compressed from coal over a living creature that extends human life. How can that be smart? What is money when you do not have life and happiness.
    Blue

  6. #6
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    > What is money when you do not have life and happiness.

    A way to forget your unhappiness!

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