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This is a discussion on Smile within the A Brief History of Cprogramming.com forums, part of the Community Boards category; Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Optimist: The glass is half ...

  1. #1
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    Smile Smile

    Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a glass of milk next to the keyboard.

    Optimist:
    The glass is half full.

    Pessimist:
    The glass is half empty.

    Apple Computer:
    You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

    Assembly programmers:
    No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

    Basic programmers:
    No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

    Bill Gates:
    Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

    C Programmers:
    No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

    CIA:
    What makes you think that's milk?

    National news media:
    Hey, we wanted OJ!

    Non-procedural language programmers:
    I drank it when nobody was looking.

    NSA:
    We know what it really is.

    Paranoid:
    Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here? WHY WHY WHY!!!
    SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!

    Pascal programmers:
    Well, what type of milk is it?

    Pentium users:
    I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

    Prolog programmers:
    I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

    Copy protection crazies:
    Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

    Faith-healer:
    If we worship it, it will feel better.

    Feminist:
    How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?

    Free Software Foundation:
    That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

    Futurist:
    The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

    Fuzzy logic guys:
    I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

    IBM:
    Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for
    you.

    Idealist:
    In a descent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough
    for everyone to enjoy.

    IRS:
    Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

    Mac users:
    Where's my pump?

    MIS:
    I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

    Schroedinger:
    That stupid cat got into the milk again!

    Security consultant:
    Where'd the rest of the milk go?

    Shareware game author:
    That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

    UI designers:
    What's that crap in my glass?

    UNIX users:
    Nahh . . . too easy.

    Windows users:
    Where's my straw?

  2. #2
    It's full of stars adrianxw's Avatar
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    Engineer:
    Tut! That glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
    Wave upon wave of demented avengers march cheerfully out of obscurity unto the dream.

  3. #3
    Intranasal Heroin User Xterria's Avatar
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    nice job...you make that up?

  4. #4
    5|-|1+|-|34|) ober's Avatar
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    LOL... good one Cheez..

  5. #5
    Code Goddess Prelude's Avatar
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    >C Programmers:
    >No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
    Actually, I do. It's more efficient that way because then I don't have to wash a glass

    -Prelude
    My best code is written with the delete key.

  6. #6
    Registered User Invincible's Avatar
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    You forgot...

    Java Programmer:
    This would be great in coffee! I hope it's skim.
    "The mind, like a parachute, only functions when open."

  7. #7
    Just one more wrong move. -KEN-'s Avatar
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    KEN:
    Wait! Most of these jokes weren't funny. Oh look, a glass of milk...

  8. #8
    Registered User
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    enlightened COBOL Programmer:

    That glass of milk is far better than COBOL

  9. #9
    Blank
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  10. #10
    Registered User Nutshell's Avatar
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    Cool joke, though i didn't get some of the programmer types.

  11. #11
    Mayor of Awesometown Govtcheez's Avatar
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    Govtcheez:
    -KEN-'s got no sense of humor. Hey, milk!

    That got e-mailed to me, Xterria

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