Thread: My plan on how to conquer the universe

  1. #1
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Plano, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,743

    My plan on how to conquer the universe

    Here is how I plan to conquer the universe.

    First, I must get a patent clerk drunk.
    Then, once the patent clerk is drunk, I can easily convince the patent clerk to let me patent the 1 and the 0.
    Once I patent the 1 and the 0, I will essentially own the rights to everything.
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  2. #2
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    347
    I already own those patents
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  3. #3
    l'Anziano DavidP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Plano, Texas, United States
    Posts
    2,743
    D'oh! Well then....i will patent you....
    My Website

    "Circular logic is good because it is."

  4. #4
    .
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    598
    To bad, I own the patetns to on and off. As well as myself, preventing anyone from patenting me.
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

  5. #5
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    1,301
    I own the patent to patents. hah, i own you all.

  6. #6
    Ethereal Raccoon Procyon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    189
    Sorry, Bill Gates beat you to it again...

    http://www.theonion.com/onion3311/microsoftpatents.html

  7. #7
    Former Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Posts
    955
    darn!, I thought it was my idea.

    but oh hell, I'll think of another way..

    Oskilian

  8. #8
    Registered User Aran's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    1,301
    no you won't... without paying heavy fines at least.

    I patented thinking about an hour ago.

  9. #9
    Former Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Posts
    955
    AARRGGHH, I should havve thought of that, but you know, I am gonna patent heartbeating, each time you have a heartbeat, you should pay me 10 cents (USA cents).

    Oskilian

  10. #10
    Has a Masters in B.S.
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    2,263
    actually microsoft patented/(bought rights to) existence, the atom(and everything attributes to it), soup in general, monkeys and midgets, macaroni, cheese, and light, about a week back
    ADVISORY: This users posts are rated CP-MA, for Mature Audiences only.

  11. #11
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    347
    and steve ballmer trademarked the word "Developers"
    and patented sweat
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  12. #12
    Confused Magos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    3,145

    Huh?

    I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?
    MagosX.com

    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
    Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

  13. #13
    Registered User mfc2themax's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    347
    >I might sound like a duma$$, but the part with Microsoft patenting 'ones' and 'zeros' was a joke... right?<

    "Microsoft has not yet announced whether it will charge a user fee to individuals who wish to engage in such mathematically rooted motions as walking, stretching and smiling."

    You decide......
    mfc2themax-Creator of all that is.

  14. #14
    .
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Posts
    598
    I have just patented micro and soft.
    To Err Is To Be Human. To Game Is Divine!"

Popular pages Recent additions subscribe to a feed

Similar Threads

  1. Program Plan
    By Programmer_P in forum C++ Programming
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-11-2009, 01:42 AM
  2. Question about File Input
    By ChristianTool in forum C Programming
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-25-2004, 02:40 PM
  3. Divide and Conquer: array in the reverse order
    By Steamer in forum C Programming
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-08-2004, 07:31 PM
  4. How to plan a program...
    By o0obruceleeo0o in forum C++ Programming
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-22-2003, 11:51 PM
  5. Life, The Universe, and everything else
    By ZooTrigger1191 in forum A Brief History of Cprogramming.com
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-29-2003, 05:33 PM