I love these, funny answers people write on their motor insurance claim forms
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
I could read these all day, give these people signs.
My alltime favorite though has to be
"I turned onto my drive and hit a tree which I haven't got"
The guy had driven onto his neighbours drive...LMAO