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my tuppence
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God created Adam but was soon dissatisfied, and decided his creation needed improvements.
so he said to Adam "this is your lucky day, i'm giving you a new improved brain, this will change your life forever. from now on you will be able to think for yourself"
Adam thanked God profusely, and God was pleased...
in fact God was so pleased he decided to give Adam a penis, so he could enjoy sex....
but Adam was so pleased with his new part he went off to enjoy it and he forgot to thank God for giving it to him.
God was angry by this slight so said.....
"Adam, i have decided that there will be a catch to my new inventions....from now on, every time you get aroused your brain will stop working !!!"
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a man was wandering for ages what to wear for a friends fancy dress party......after a lot of thought he finally had a bright idea...
the next weekend, the host opened the door to see his friend standing on the doorstep in a pair of pants, but wearing nothing else.
"what the hell are you supposed to be???" he asked
"a premature ejeculation" the man replied " i just came in my pants!!"
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men are like holidays.......
they are never long enough !!!!
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why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilise an egg????
cos they won't stop for directions !!
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on their first night together a newly wed couple got ready for bed.
the husband said "now we are married, may i see you naked"
the wife shyly agreed....
"oh my, you are so very beautiful, could i please take a picture of you naked so i can carry your beauty next to my heart forever "
she smiled and agreed to his request....
she then requested to see him naked and he willingly agreed...
his wife exclaimed "oh my, can i take a picture of your willy !!!!!"
the husband smiled and said "sure honey, why do you want that ????"
"so i can get it enlarged !" she replied.....
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any men upset by those sexist jokes ?????
i rest my case..........
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hehe, funny stuff stevey!
napKIN
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SEE NO EVIL < HEAR NO EVIL < SPEAK NO EVIL
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men are like coffee.....
the best ones are rich and keep you up all night.
a man is like a snowstorm......
you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he'll last.
a lady went to the doctor...
"look ive a problem with my husband...every time he climaxes, he yells at the top of his voice"
the doc replied "well thats natural enough, why's it such a problem?"
the lady replied" its a problem because it keeps waking me up !!!!"
right thats it...i'm sick of bloody jokes now !!!