Thread: clean(ish) jokes

Yesterday, in New York, a guy said, "George Bush is an idiot!!"

The State fined him $1000 -
$10 for abusing the President and
$990 for revealing a state secret...

lol

Originally posted by Unregistered
stevey: Are you male or female???
and how old are you???

]

33 years old, hence where my profile says 33 y/o.

male, hence the name stevey NOT stephie, steffie or stevie, and steve NOT stephanie.

why, you don't fancy me do you sweetie pie ????

whats the last thing "tickle me elmo" receives before he leaves the toy factory??

two test tickles.

Originally posted by hermit
i would like to be involve with this one :

seriously stevey are you a male or a female ? or both?

see the thread !!!

What does Snoop Dog use to clean his laundry?

Bleotch

Slightly surreal joke.............



A duck walks into a pub and heads straight for the bar. He asks the barman, "Have you got any bread?"
"No sorry, we don't sell bread."
"Have you got any bread?"
"No, I just told you, we don't have any bread."
"Aw right then. What about bread? Do you have any bread?"
"Look you stupid little duck, I don't have any bread! And if you ask me for it one more time, I'm going to nail your beak to this bar!"
The duck pauses to think. "Have you got any nails?"
"No."
"Have you got any bread?"

Two aliens land in the middle of the Australian outback , near a recently abandoned gas station. The first alien goes up to the gas pump (which he assumes is an earthling) and says, "Take me to your leader!" The gas pump doesn't say anything (naturally). The alien gets annoyed and demands again, "Take me to your leader!!" When the gas pump still doesn't reply, the alien gets mad and tells the pump that if he doesn't start talking, he will blast him...

At this point the second alien nervously interrupts, "Err, Sir, I don't think you should ......"... But the first alien will not be deterred and he blasts away. There is a huge explosion and after the smoke clears, the blackened aliens discover themselves lying 100 yards away from their destroyed space ship...

"You see, Sir", said the second alien, "I didn't think it would be a wise idea to mess around with a guy who can wrap his dick around his waist and stick it in his ear!"

Moderators would it be acceptable to post dirty jokes as an attachment, with a disclaimer?
And if so .......stevey I know you have more...

OK this one is stupid......
A blond, brunette and red head are trapped on top of a two story building, which happens to be burring down.
The fire department comes and carries out a large blanket for the ladies to jump into.

First the red head jumps. Suddenly the fireman move and she hits the ground.
Then the brunette screams, "I'm about to jump don't move"
She does so and the move. Splat...she hits the ground.
Then the blond yells, "OK. I'm not that dumb. DROP the blanket..............


/**/
True story..If i can find the site I'll post it.
Two dudes are going home after a long day of hunting.
When they get to their truck the lights go out.
the driver says "DAMN!!! its dark as hell and the fuse just went out."
SO his buddy, whom has just started on his sixth beer says put this in it. It will work."
He hands the driver a . 22 caliber round. The driver places the round in the fuse slot and continued down the road. Suddenly the ammunition goes off and clips the drives left testicle, thus causing him to swerve off the road into a group of large trees.

HAHA found it.
www.darwinawards.com

Taken from the above stated site.
What's a Darwin?
Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool
by removing themselves from it in really stupid ways.